Obama, Breaking Bad, And Raven Symone

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Obama, Breaking Bad, And Raven Symone
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today, we have a pretty random selection of Tweets. You can forgive me for not being too topical on a Friday, right? We do hit the Labor Day Topic as we as Obama’s upcoming Jobs speech. Look for a particularly good one about disciplining a teenager. Enjoy!

At my funeral, instead of a eulogy, I want everyone to watch 30 minutes looped footage of Laura Dern’s panicked running, from Jurassic Park. 11 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

A chocolate chip got stuck in the straw of my frappuccino. #FirstWorldProblems 3 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

Casual Friday + Last Workday Before Labor Day = White Bed Sheet Toga. Can’t help it if my coworkers don’t understand basic math. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

8 out of 10 Americans think we are in a recession. The other two are A-Rod and Oprah. 1 hour ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

You know what Obama should do for his jobs speech? Hire a million people to help him write it. 3 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

If you want to punish a teenager, simply take away their cellphone! And sodomize them with it. 2 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto

Hey dudes it’s been 5 days. You gotta let people talk about Breaking Bad. 1 hour ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

New York City — turning optimistic liberals into seething, closet racists since 1961! 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Has mankind ever fallen further short of his potential than “second verse same as the first?” 15 hours ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto

Washington is the only place where things grind to a halt when people get back from vacation. 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

“That’s so Raven” – Raven Symone’s parents identify her body. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Obama, Breaking Bad, And Raven Symone
Top Rated White Papers and Resources
  • http://www.thestandupcenter.com/ The Stand Up Comedy Center

    First the election, now the Oscars! Again, a black man (Murphy) is called in to clean up the mess of the previous white man (Franco).

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