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Nickelback, Dick Clark, and CNN’s News Ticker

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Nickelback, Dick Clark, and CNN’s News Ticker
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Something something Dick Clark hologram.(image) 16 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Dad always used to say, “Watch out for that Ted Nugent guy. He seems kind of crazy.”(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Demi Moore would like suggestions for a new Twitter name. I’m thinking @SingleCradleRobber might work.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

TIme editor fired for putting Tebow and Lin in list of 100 Most Influential People instead of 100 Most Influential Internet Memes.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I bet Kim Kardashian has already blown the Tupac hologram.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The best prank ever would be displaying a friend’s Internet browser history on the CNN news ticker.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Remember writers, while your screenplays and pilots get trashed, a 2nd Jersey Shore cast members will get on the NY Times Best-Sellers List.(image) 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

So I guess Ryan Seacrest finally found the last horcrux.(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If you play a Nickelback song backwards you’ll hear devil messages. Even worse, If you play it forward, you’ll hear Nickelback.(image) 42 minutes ago via Buffer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

17th sequel title: The Girl who got her Dragon Tattoo Removed.(image) 1 hour ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

GOODBYE DICK CLARK! YOU ONLY MAN IN AMERICA WHO ABLE TO DROP BALL AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD!(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If you didn’t get your taxes in, you can always file an extension by dangling the tax rep from a highrise. I do it every year.(image) 2 hours ago via Batcomputer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Ted Nugent says the meeting with the Secret Service is “no big deal. They just want some advice about hookers I think.”(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Nickelback, Dick Clark, and CNN’s News Ticker
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