Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Something something Dick Clark hologram.
Dad always used to say, "Watch out for that Ted Nugent guy. He seems kind of crazy."
@SingleCradleRobber might work.Demi Moore would like suggestions for a new Twitter name. I'm thinking
TIme editor fired for putting Tebow and Lin in list of 100 Most Influential People instead of 100 Most Influential Internet Memes.
I bet Kim Kardashian has already blown the Tupac hologram.
The best prank ever would be displaying a friend's Internet browser history on the CNN news ticker.
Remember writers, while your screenplays and pilots get trashed, a 2nd Jersey Shore cast members will get on the NY Times Best-Sellers List.
So I guess Ryan Seacrest finally found the last horcrux.
If you play a Nickelback song backwards you'll hear devil messages. Even worse, If you play it forward, you'll hear Nickelback.
17th sequel title: The Girl who got her Dragon Tattoo Removed.
GOODBYE DICK CLARK! YOU ONLY MAN IN AMERICA WHO ABLE TO DROP BALL AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD!
If you didn’t get your taxes in, you can always file an extension by dangling the tax rep from a highrise. I do it every year.
Ted Nugent says the meeting with the Secret Service is "no big deal. They just want some advice about hookers I think."