Quantcast

National Sandwich Day, The Dalai Lama, and Spare Ribs

Today's Funniest Tweets

Get the WebProNews Newsletter:


National Sandwich Day, The Dalai Lama, and Spare Ribs
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today we have tweets celebrating National Sandwich Day! We also find a revealing secret about the Dalai Lama and give a little advice to the porn industry.

Enjoy!

I’m going to open a fast food place called ‘Chick Fil B’ that will only be open on Sundays and religious holidays. 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Sorry porn industry, but a 40 year old woman with pigtails and knee-high socks isn’t “barely legal”. 4 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

I’m a deadbeat dad to my Google+ account: I stop in three times a year, never tell it I love it, and I was blackout drunk when I created it. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Today is National Sandwich Day. It is also National Housewife’s Day. Coincidence? 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Justin hits 14 million followers? What? Why is he hitting people? Who does he think he is, Chris Brown? 9 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I sat through all the movie credits, but there was no extra scene at the end. #FirstWorldProblems 3 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

BREAKING: Kim Kardashian has suddenly cut her Australian trip short, apparently mistaking it for a marriage. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

When I die I want people to remember that I never once drove a car with a spoiler. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Judge not, lest ye be judged. Unless thou art Judge William Adams. In which case, thou art sooooooo judged. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

It’s National Sandwich Day? I’ll have a salad, please. #hipsterproblems 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

In obits, make it unclear if the dead person is survived by people or pets: Dave is survived by Jane, Flopsy, George, and Mr. Barkelstein. 2 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

For me sex is like the Saw movies. It only happens once a year, everyone leaves disappointed, & usually there’s a puppet involved. 20 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Not sure why BBQ restaurants call them spare ribs. Pretty sure the animal needed all his ribs. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I bet even the Dalai Lama has measured his penis. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

It’s National Sandwich Day aka Make Sexist Jokes Day. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

If you search “Do a barrel roll” google does a barrel roll! If you search “Tracy Chapman lyrics” gmail tells your family you’re suicidal. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

National Sandwich Day, The Dalai Lama, and Spare Ribs
Comments Off


Top Rated White Papers and Resources

Comments are closed.

  • Join for Access to Our Exclusive Web Tools
  • Sidebar Top
  • Sidebar Middle
  • Sign Up For The Free Newsletter
  • Sidebar Bottom