@RexHuppke
Rex HuppkeFacebook now has 901 million users and all of them have invited me to play FarmVille. 7 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@andyroddick
andyroddickI think metta world peace should change his name to holy flying elbow 7 hours ago via Twitterrific ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzBREAKING: In Possible Gaffe, Romney Offers Rubio Job at his House 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@MarkDuval
Mark DuvalIf you ever take one of those “Which Game of Thrones character are you?” quizzes and your results say “Joffrey” go put your head in an oven. 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@daweiner
David WeinerThe later years, I assume. RT @AP: Lindsay Lohan to portray Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime film about her love affair with Richard Burton 34 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@Coastiefish
Matt SmithIf your laundry smells like fire and stale beer, you win at weekends. 4 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@RexRyan
Sooo Not Rex RyanJames Harrison should expect to receive a fine for that hit James Harden took from Metta World Peace. 19 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@MensHumor
Men’s HumorMonday mornings are a lot like getting kicked in the balls. 9 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@bulls_horns
TJ If I spend another dollar at Taco Bell I deserve a Mexican passport. 35 minutes ago via TweetCaster for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@funnyordie
Funny Or DieIt’s pretty strange that Party City is such a boring place to hang out. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@louisvirtel
Louis VirtelI’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Elizabeth Taylor is going to be perfect as Lindsay Lohan. 11 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@DamienFahey
Damien FaheyI’ve never skydived but I’ve checked Twitter on my phone while standing over a toilet. So, I get the gist. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto