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Limp Bizkit, Daytona, and Chris Brown’s iPhone Problems

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Limp Bizkit, Daytona, and Chris Brown’s iPhone Problems
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Congrats to Limp Bizkit for signing to Cash Money records! To celebrate i also put a bag of trash into a slightly bigger dumpster.(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I’m starting to think Chris Brown might not be a great guy.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

With the recent acquisition of Limp Bizkit, Busta Rhymes, and rumors of tracks with Ashanti, YMCM is poised to be the hottest label of 1999.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Chris Brown has been accused of stealing a woman’s cellphone outside a club. Looking forward to their duet in two years.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If #Obama cured cancer the Republicans wld say he’s trying to mandate what kind of cells we can have in our body(image) 20 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Chris Brown steals a fan’s iPhone. Siri must have been terrified.(image) 8 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Danica Patrick crashed during a Daytona qualifier today, successfully qualifying herself as a woman.(image) 22 hours ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Looks like Chris Brown finally crossed the line with this cell phone theft.(image) 18 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Here at Daytona. Danica Patrick will sit on the pole for tomorrow’s Nationwide race.(image) 11 minutes ago via Seesmic ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My laziness just reached a new level when I was too tired to download an app.(image) 56 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

White guys who take shirtless pics of themselves in their bathroom mirror will most likely die in an alcohol-related wakeboard accident.(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If I’ve given you a card at your birthday party, know I bought it a half-hour ago and signed it on the dashboard of my car 5 minutes ago.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Meryl Streep could take a dump and it’d get nominated for an Oscar.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Thought I saw an overrated pop star in the distance. Turns out it was just a Nicki Mirage.(image) 5 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

[Image via reddit]

Limp Bizkit, Daytona, and Chris Brown’s iPhone Problems
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