‘Killer Dolphins’ Escape From Ukrainian Handlers

    March 13, 2013
    Sean Patterson
    Comments are off for this post.

The Russian International New Agency (RIA Novosti) is reporting that three “killer” dolphins have escaped from their Ukranian handlers. The mammals were engaged in training exercises when they took off for open water.

The publication quoted a former Soviet naval anti-sabotage officer as saying the dolphins probably took in search of mates. The officer stated that it isn’t uncommon for the dolphins to take off during mating season, but that they come back to their handlers “in a week or so.”

The Ukrainian dolphins were being trained to attack (enemy) swimmers and to detect mines. In a statement that invokes the likes of Austin Powers villain Dr. Evil, an unnamed source told RIA Novosti that the dolphins were being trained to use “special knives” and “pistols fixed to their heads.” Obviously, that throws the entire report into doubt, but if true it could mean some of the ocean’s smartest animals could soon have the firepower to defend their territory.

The U.S. and Soviet navies began training dolphins in the 60s and 70s. When the U.S.S.R. fell, the dolphin training program was transferred to the Ukrainian Navy, which continued training the mammals for civilian purposes, but restarted military training for the animals in 2012.

  • Dodge Carithers

    There is too much BS about this story-attaching knives and etc to dolphins head is just too silly to believe-I know that once in a while a dolphins will get mad and beat your ass but this story is too hog washed.

  • Joe Middleton

    To take these wonderful creatures and turn them into Killers is so disgusting that I have begun to pray that all mankind gets eliminated from this world. man was and is God’s biggest mistake Man has done absolutely nothing positive for this planet or the innocent creatures that inhabit it. If I could push a button and end all human life on this planet, including mine, and leave it with only the innocent creatures I would do it in less than a heartbeat. Man is the scourge, he has wrecked a beautiful place with overpopulation, pollution, and just plain ugliness. I pray for a huge comet every day or maybe the explosion of the Yellowstone Caldera.

    • tim

      and why arent you the first one to go?