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John Travolta, Gay Marriage, and the WNBA

Today's Funniest Tweets

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John Travolta, Gay Marriage, and the WNBA
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Travolta’s lawyer should use the “It was Nic Cage in a John Travolta mask” defense.(image) 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If you stretched your intestines to the moon and back, you’d be dead.(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

All of those who oppose gay marriage are totally not seeing the potential of Gay Divorce Court on daytime TV.(image) 50 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I would watch more WNBA if the W stood for “Wolf”.(image) 2 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“Remember to buy your mom a bottle of wine on Mother’s Day, because you are the reason she drinks.” #MothersDay #wine(image) 45 minutes ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Straight marriage, gay marriage, whatever. Just stop showing me pictures of your kids and we’re cool.(image) 8 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer.(image) 2 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Let’s all get together next Daylight Saving Time and remind North Carolina to set their clocks forward 100 years.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Today President Obama checked in on Foursquare from a spot located on the right side of history.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Mark Zuckerberg’s nickname should be “I don’t give a Fuckerberg.”(image) 3 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My girlfriend re-tweets my ex-girlfriend. #firstworldproblems(image) 43 minutes ago via twitterfeed ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Boy, TSA workers don’t like it when you moan while they pat you down.(image) 3 hours ago via WhoSay ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The first person to cut their hair must have been TERRIFIED.(image) 4 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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John Travolta, Gay Marriage, and the WNBA
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