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Jaleel White, Kid Rock, and the Daytona 500

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Jaleel White, Kid Rock, and the Daytona 500
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Danica Patrick has wrecked three cars in four days. Even Donte Stallworth is appalled by her awful driving ability.(image) 20 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Producers say the new “Dancing with the Stars” cast will strive to redefine “Dancing” and “Stars.”(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Someday, when Jaleel White is on his deathbed, he is going to look back at his time on Dancing with the Stars, and think, “Did I do that?”(image) 5 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If we stop neutering our dogs then the Terriers have won.(image) 13 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Which religion lets you eat as much pizza as you want without getting fat?(image) 4 hours ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Just got a look at the iPad 3. Coolest feature: it has a pool. An actual pool.(image) 44 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I believe in the separation of Rick Santorum and elected office.(image) 20 hours ago via WhoSay ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Iran & North Korea should switch Supreme Leaders for a week just for fun.(image) 37 minutes ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The sun is too bright for me to see my iPhone screen. #firstworldproblems(image) 1 hour ago via twitterfeed ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Romney and Kid Rock. It’s always beautiful when the right people find each other.(image) 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Dancing with the Stars is to dancing and stars what our nation’s politicians are to integrity and leadership. #DWTS(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

List of people in descending order of coolness: 1. Mitt Romney 2. Malcolm Gladwell 3. Tim Pawlenty 4. Niles from Frasier 5. Kid Rock(image) 6 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Santorum is probably scrambling to get Eminem or Insane Clown Posse’s endorsement right now.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If you don’t believe the US military engages in torture, try sitting through “Act of Valor.”(image) 15 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My sources are telling me Buffalo Wild Wings is being investigated for altering the ending of last night’s Daytona 500…(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Breaking News… Michael Bay actually directed the Daytona 500 last night(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Jaleel White, Kid Rock, and the Daytona 500
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