Honey Boo Boo Child: Future “Maury” Guest?

By: Amanda Crum - August 9, 2012

Honey Boo Boo Child, otherwise known as Alana from the TLC show “Toddlers And Tiaras”, has taken the world by storm in recent weeks due to a barrage of advertising for her new spinoff show, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”. The first episode premiered last night, and while I (unfortunately) missed it, I’ve seen enough from recaps online to know all I need to know. Actually, the trailers probably did that much, to be honest.

In case you’re not a fan of exploitative shows featuring stage mothers and their overly-caffeinated offspring, here’s the basics: Alana is a true girl of the South, and she and her family participate in “Redneck Games” (bobbing for pig’s feet, anyone?) and pick up roadkill for dinner without batting an eye. They’re not afraid to show their true lives on camera, warts (and flabby bellies and farts) and all, and Alana’s mother, known to most simply as “Mama”, is jarringly honest about how the family lives, taking the cameras along when she attends an auction to buy necessities such as groceries in order to save for Alana’s pageant expenses.

“Pageants are very, very expensive. It is not a cheap sport by any means. Sometimes he has what I’m looking for, sometimes he don’t,” Mama said about the auctioneer.

Alana, who says she loves getting dressed up and caking on the makeup for pageants, is also something of a tomboy and isn’t afraid to get dirty. She’s also charmed her family so hardcore with her spunky attitude and sassy comebacks that she doesn’t seem to have any real discipline, even when she hits her mother and pulls her hair…after downing her “go-go juice”, a mixture of Mt. Dew and an energy drink. While these sugary mixtures are popular on the pageant circuit–as are Pixie Stix–as a way to liven up a tired tot, Alana appears to get it whenever she wants it, which is, of course, reality show gold.

Obviously, people are curious about Honey Boo Boo and her family, otherwise TLC wouldn’t have seen fit to give them their own show. And while it’s more than likely going to cause controversy for quite some time, one question seems to be rooted firmly in everyone’s mind: what’s in store for Alana’s future? As you can see from an appearance on “Dr. Drew’s Life Changers”, many people are making assumptions already.

“I’MMA BOUT TO GO GHETTO ON YOU GURRRRL!” *smack* Uhh… future Maury guest?!” one YouTube user wrote.

Amanda Crum

About the Author

Amanda CrumAmanda Crum is a writer and artist from Kentucky. She's a fan of Edward Gorey, Hunter S. Thompson, and horror movies. You can follow her on Google:+Amanda Crum

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  • http://yahoo perry cook

    look that little white girl is a hot mess. and they talk about us. Anthony it seems like nowadays can get a TV show’thats crazy.her family and her are a bunch of red necks if I ever saw. and yes I’m Héloise cause I have a gorgeous 2 year old daughter and I think she needs her own show.I can believe anybody finds these people interesting.

  • Mike Hanson

    Total white trash…honey boo boo child will be knocked up by 14 (by a relative, no doubt) Thanks, mom, for raising a disgusting, self entitled little brat. You are GROSS!!!!

  • Jennifer S

    That child is not charming. She’s rather repulsive really. I will NOT be tuning in for that crap.

  • Missy V

    Her mom is a joke and I feel sorry for the kid. They learn from their surroundings and she has a future flipping burgers at dairy queen

  • Sadie

    This is absolutely repulsing. This girl is going to grow up with diabetes and other serious health issues. She is going to be extremely overweight, and that is without mentioning the horrible attitude and laziness she will have. I feel sorry for her, that her parents are so neglectful of her health and well-being.

  • Lenny Grapes

    Your joking right?
    They are paying these people money to do this on TV.
    Come on….get real.
    Rednecks…no way.
    Try: Dirty White Trash from Hell

  • Irish Colleen

    Just a horrible show. The child & her family thinks passing gas & making crude remarks is funny? Will not be watching this one. Sponsors take note: I won’t be using your products. Finally, “reality TV” has reached a new low!

  • sheila

    this will be another no talented reality show, i hope they wont get an audience to watch this trash, its repulsive and the parents just look at the dollar signs they see, i will never watch crap like that

  • http://yahoo franchecka

    lmao this is another reason why. I dont let my daughter watch certain channels this child is headed down a road of diaster with her sloppy mother behind the wheel smh

  • http://yahoo Dia Mountz

    It is a disgusting thing to have to watch promos on things I do watch…give her about five years or so and she will be just as fat and ugly as her mother…..garauneffintee!!!!

  • tina

    This show is horrible. I agree with all the comments here. A group of fat, nasty, stinky, looking people. One daugther 17 and pregnant and no husband in sight.

    Honey Boo Boo a falppy little girl with a nasty attitude. The 12 years old, releasing gas and talking dumb constantly.

    This crap need to be pull off the air. I see nothing but child abuse, and neglect from both parents. They look disgusting. There’s so many other programs that can be in that time slot. Poor white filthy trailer park trash is not one of them.

    I was standing in line at the grocery store and a redneck stated to another person in line ….”that Honey Boo Boo show makes us look real cheap and stupid. I agree.

    • pickiesmom

      Tina…I couldn’t agree with you more. The fact that she’s given that concoction to drink is (in my opinion) child abuse. These pagent kids are given this stuff to keep them awake. It’s so sickening. I cannot bring myself to watch a kiddy pagent show. It makes me so sick that they do this to little children. But to now have THIS rotten idea of a show get started…and with this spoiled, over the top, hyper-active, undisciplined, honey boo boo, is just too much. I hated the video above so much I couldn’t even stomach watching all of it. Who on earth came up with such a nutty idea for a show anyways? Gawd!

  • Dharma

    So, an uncouth mother lives through her daughter who’s a tiara brat with no manners and they get a TV show? I guess this is right on par with that documentary by Johnny Knoxville, “The Wild And Wonderful Whites Of West Virginia”. A train wreck that makes the viewer feel better about themselves.

    Everybody makes money and the kid is the one who suffers in the end.

  • http://honeybooboochild MANDY


    • Anon

      Is that the best you can come up with? That was so bad i felt compelled to comment. Seriously ad hominem attacks and barely literate grammar are why this kind of filth is allowed to be on tv in the first place. People like you and honey boo boo and family are the reason I’m horrified about the future of this country.

  • Marcie

    Come on, all these people talking negative need to go do something with their lives if yu dont like the damn show then dont watch it, its that simple. How would yu like it and how would yu feel if yu had a show and everyone had something negative to say you’d be pissed right. Stop talking down about the little girl how mature is that for an older woman. Ya your daughters might be pretty and whatever but they don’t have a show so that must really piss you off. Its not your child so stop worrying about her and move on with your negative ass lives. I had so much to say but id rather save my typing. these negative and hating ass people aren’t worth it. two hands down I’m with honey boo boo on this one. Yahya :))

    • pickiesmom

      We are simply responding to what we are being shown. It’s garbage. What do you want us to say? That it’s ‘entertaining’? It’s garbage…and that’s just calling it like we all here see it.

  • shirley white

    OMG, there is nothing to watch on T.V. anymore, back to card games with the family

  • Don

    Garbage in, Garbage out

  • pickiesmom

    They are REACHING to have come up with such a disaster. WHO on earth gave the thumbs up on this crap? OMG…NEVER! I couldn’t even watch the entire sample video above…it was so gut wrenching. They actually really believe people will watch this? Wow…it’s so pathetic.

  • Tammie

    I quote your story {Alana is a true girl of the South, and she and her family participate in “Redneck Games”}
    I beg to differ with you, but THIS child (and her family) is in no way a true girl of the South. A true girl of the South is a Southern Belle. A Southern Belle would not be caught dead acting the way this family does. Southern Belles have an unspoken genteel grace. We take pride in our manners and would not be caught dead participating in “Redneck Games”. We can hold an intelligent conversation in any topic that is being discussed….and as we say in the South, “Water seeks it’s level.” Southern Belles are on a hill and this family is in the swamp.

    • Barbara

      LOVE your comment Tammie. This is truly an embarrassing as a TRUE Southern girl.

      • Tammie

        Thank you Barbara!