Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Across the country, marches in support of Chick-Fil-A were cut short as everybody got winded after 5 minutes.
"Show me the warrant!!" - Cuba Gooding Jr. at some point today.
Hey @MichaelPhelps. 19 gold medals is quite an accomplishment, but I get free Subway for life. Gilmore-1, Phelps-0
Snoop Lion? Well, it's definitely snappier than "The artist formerly known as Snoop Dog."
The Men's #Olympic gymnastics competition would be so much cooler if the gymnasts were required to dress like Batman.
It's beautiful the Olympics brings America together every four years to unite us in fast forwarding through equestrian highlights.
Sweat is your body crying for you to stop whatever you're doing.
The last time there was this much gold in a swimming pool was when Ochocinco's grill fell out at a pool party.
I think Guy Fieri was bitten by a radioactive dung beetle.
Let's all hope Romney does better during his upcoming visit to the Gathering of the Juggalos.
Kix are blind people's Alphabits
Hard to see the Russians cry but then I remember what Drago did to Apollo Creed and I feel better.