Frat Under Investigation After Decidedly Rapey Email Goes ViralBy: Josh Wolford - October 8, 2013
Georgia Tech’s Phi Kappa Tau fraternity is under university investigation and is probably going to have to do some serious image repair work after an email titled “Luring Your Rapebait” went viral.
Total Frat Move says their tip line exploded after an active member at the fraternity sent out an email instructing members how to close the deal with girls. “Close the deal” is actually putting is a bit mildly. It’s more like a how-to on getting them wasted, “leting them grind against your dick,” and the 7 “E”s of hooking up. Yes, erection and ejaculation are two of the “E”s. More on that later.
“Alright chods, some of you could use some help on how to mack and succeed at parties. Mostly pledges do, but some bros could use a review. For anytime throughout the party… If you are standing by yourself at any point, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!!! If you are talking to a brother of your pledge brothers when there are girls just standing around, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!!!” says our unknown frat star.
The first tip involves drinking, and the next is dancing. How does one dance like a Phi Kappa Tau?
“Here is how to dance: Grab them on the hips with your 2 hands and then let them grind against your dick. After that slowly alternate between just putting your hand across their stomach, but make sure don’t to go to high (keep it under the boob) or too low(dont try to finger her… yet). After a song, start putting your cheek on the side of her cheek. ALWAYS USE YOUR HANDS OR ARMS TO GUIDE THEIR DANCING in order to maximize your pleasure. If she starts putting her hair over her ear, THAT MEANS SHE WANTS A KISS,” continues our knowledgable bro.
And just remember – no raping. Also, the 7 “E”s of hooking up. So important.
If the party is going good (a.k.a. there are a lot of open girls) try to escalate cause it’s awesome. Here is how to escalate: Try to twist her hips around to face you and dance front to front. FROM THERE THE OPTIONS ARE UNLIMITED! You can make-out with her (tongue on tongue), you can stick your hand up her shirt (not right away though), you can go for a butt grab (outside or inside the shirts), or use your imagination. ALWAYS START WITH THE MAKING OUT!!!! NO RAPING.
A short guide consist of the 7 E’s of HOOKING UP! 1. Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls) 2. Engage (go up and talk to them) 3. Escalate (ask them to dance, or ask them to go up to your room or find a couch, depending on what kind of party) 4. Erection (GET HARD) 5. Excavate (should be self-explanatory) 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) 7. Expunge (send them out of your room and on their way out when you are finished. IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL. I want to see everyone succeed at the next couple parties.
He’s a team player, that’s for sure.
WSB-TV Atlanta reports that the fraternity is under university investigation.
The head of Phi Kappa Tau issued a statement, naturally:
“The referenced email is extremely inappropriate and does not reflect the values of the Phi Kappa Tau fraternity. The written expression of this thinking by a member is disturbing to everyone associated with Alpha Rho.”
The fraternity was founded in 1906 at Miami University in Ohio. Since then, they’ve chartered 145 chapters (83 are currently active) that total 3,500 active members.
Just remember bros, if you’re ever having a hard time with the “excavating,” just get more alcohol. Totally not rapey.
Image via Thinkstock