Diablo 3, Walruses, and Celebrity Twitter Passwords

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

@BarnesJonathan
Jonathan BarnesTo everyone who can’t play Diablo 3 until after work, the starving children in Africa started a Facebook page for you. 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@dorkly
DorklyDiablo 3 and Max Payne 3 came out today. Unless your boss follows you on Twitter, in which case A Bad Case of the Flu came out today. 3 hours ago via HootSuite · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@CreationsOfLA
LΛi think the show ” America’s Got Talent ” should have a question mark at the end of it. 1 hour ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@Rosenberg_Mike
Michael RosenbergA juror lost interest and fell asleep during the Roger Clemens trial. That’s why baseball players started taking steroids in the 1st place. 30 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPN#CelebrityTwitterPasswords
Tim Tebow : Wanted his password to be “pass” but it was too short. 40 minutes ago via HootSuite · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@ThePresObama
Barack ObamaChernobyl. Please, Chernobyl RT @KimKardashian: If Khloe & I take a city what city should it be??? 14 hours ago via Echofon · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyThe scale adds ten pounds. 1 hour ago via Echofon · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@ApocalypseHow
Rob KutnerWhen “The Voice” goes off air, the spinning chairs return to their day jobs: Bringing mad villains face to face with James Bond 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@yoyoha
Josh HaraDear Humans, Please don’t grab our tongues when we’re licking your hands. It freaks us out. Love, Dogs 3 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy polarized sunglasses make my smartphone’s screen look weird. #FirstWorldProblems 5 hours ago via iTweet for Android · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNReports confirm that Heat F Chris Bosh has indeed name his son Littlefoot. 6 hours ago via HootSuite · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@IGotsSmarts
Steve MieczkowskiA walrus is just a seal with a porn mustache. 12 hours ago via Favstar.FM · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@fleshcake
G.T. CollinsIt’s easy to make fun of Kmart, but at least their clothes don’t just assume you have human features. 12 hours ago via WitStream · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto