Bigfoot Killed, Corpse on Tour in Texas
Bigfoot’s corpse is on tour. The tour is called the “I Told You So Tour.” The reason it’s called the “I Told You So Tour” is because its creator, promoter, and emcee is Rick Dyer, who last put a bigfoot corpse on tour in 2008 only to later be forced into admitting that that bigfoot was just a rubber suit.
This one’s not a hoax, though. No, siree. According to self-described “master tracker” Dyer, “we want to show as many people as possible . . . Bigfoot is not the Tooth Fairy. Bigfoot is real.” This bigfoot, which Dyer has dubbed “Hank,” was allegedly shot and killed outside of San Antonio. Dyer claims to have lured it with ribs he bought at Wal-Mart. Also, it should be noted, this time as good as any, that Dyer’s day job (because master bigfoot trackers need days jobs in this economy) is selling used cars. Kid you not.
Dyer’s aware of the skepticism stemming from his previous shenanigans, but he claims that the 2008 hoax “didn’t start out as a hoax and that’s what people don’t understand. This is about redeeming myself. I don’t want to go down as a hoaxer. I want to go down as the best Bigfoot tracker in the world.” For what it’s worth, Dyer’s website claims that he and his team are the “only real bigfoot trackers in the world,” so I guess that means he’d have to be the best by default.
The body of the creature, currently under a glass coffin adorned with camouflage baseball hats, was supposed to go on display a week and a half ago at the International UFO Congress and Film Festival in Phoenix, but Dyer was forced out of that event after Maureen Elsberry, co-organizer of the event and investigator on the Science Channel’s show “Uncovering Aliens,” denied him exhibition space due to his past hoaxery.
“It was like a bunch of confusion. I don’t know what happened in Phoenix,” Dyer said. “I wanted to go to Phoenix. If we get a venue in Phoenix, we will be happy to go back there. We love Phoenix. The only reason we’re doing this tour is for me to bring Hank to the people, and that’s it. I just hate to disappoint the people that I’m trying to show it to.”
The body is currently on tour in Texas, tickets priced at $20. But for those who don’t want to shell out, Dyer’s got a sneak peek in the following video (this footage is a bit NSFW—the bigfoot on display is anatomically correct):
By the way, I’m thinking of starting a band called Bigfoot’s Corpse and trying to book shows on the “I Told You So” tour. Anybody want to jam?
Image via YouTube