Quantcast

Alicia Silverstone, Viagra, and Cable News

Today's Funniest Tweets

Get the WebProNews Newsletter:


Alicia Silverstone, Viagra, and Cable News
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Actress Alicia Silverstone said she feeds her baby by spitting in his mouth. I usually pay extra for that!(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

SPOILER ALERT: Saw The Hunger Games last night. I loved it when they sank the boat at the end.(image) 1 hour ago via Mobile Web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

BREAKING: Panicked Geraldo Rivera Shoots Slightly Tan Mark Zuckerberg(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

UPDATE: Turns out, Geraldo Rivera was bullied by a hoodie in junior high school.(image) 1 hour ago via SocialOomph ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“If the poor seeketh health care, they shouldeth get jobs. I don’t want to payeth for it.” – The Bible(image) 1 hour ago via txt ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Good idea to keep yelling your opinion to SCOTUS about Obamacare. Justices comb through Twitter and blog comments at night for ideas.(image) 16 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Today I filed my patent request for, “Like YouTube, but faster.”(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

You’d think babies would be more embarrassed they can’t even hold their own bottle. Pathetic.(image) 4 hours ago via WhoSay ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

To a blind person, a waft of cigar smoke must be like having a stranger jam their thumb up your butthole at Disneyworld.(image) 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Alicia Silverstone feeds her baby by spitting in his mouth. You don’t want to know how she cleans him.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

On this day 14 years ago, Viagra was introduced. Today, men of all ages can stand up for what they believe in, again and again and again.(image) 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Being my sidekick is what most health insurance companies would consider a “pre-existing condition.”(image) 8 minutes ago via Batcomputer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

This may be the drugs talking, but I’m glad time doesn’t smell like anything.(image) 5 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I don’t call it whiskey; I call it “anti-Viagra.”(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Watching cable news because you want to be informed is like going to Olive Garden because you want to live in Italy.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Alicia Silverstone, Viagra, and Cable News


Top Rated White Papers and Resources
  • http://www.need2sell.us/s/Homebuyer/selling_faq Sale your home| Sell your house|We Will Buy| All cash Close Quickly

    You really make it appear so easy together with your presentation however I find this matter to be really one thing which I believe I would never understand. It kind of feels too complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking ahead for your subsequent put up, I’ll try to get the cling of it!

  • Join for Access to Our Exclusive Web Tools
  • Sign Up For The Free Newsletter