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Urban Meyer, Potatoes Au Gratin, and Lice

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Urban Meyer, Potatoes Au Gratin, and Lice
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today we have a couple of tweets about the passing of Patrice O’Neal, Ndamukong Suh getting fined, and how easy it is to hate Urban Meyer.

Enjoy!

Goodbye, Patrice O’Neal. I didn’t know you well. But I knew you’d never miss Thanksgiving. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Say what you want about Herman Cain but there’s no denying that the man loves this country and what it stands for and fucking. 7 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

With $164K in lost $, Suh could have purchased 10,932 4 oz filets & burgers & 27,330 Potatoes au Gratin from Omaha Steaks. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Remember when you were little and Santa gave you all those toys because you let him finger you under the mistletoe? I loved my doodlebear. 2 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Well, Urban Meyer sure isn’t going to make it any harder to hate Ohio State. 9 hours ago via Facebook · powered by @socialditto

Patrice O’Neal on Radiohead’s “Creep.” http://t.co/HbnNFniq One of the best comedians ever. I will miss him. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Dr. Conrad Murray has a better chance of winning his appeal than Ndamukong Suh does. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Thought I had lice. Turns out it was just salt and chip crumbs. Can’t really decide which one is more depressing. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, pubs, club, clubs, free house, lager, nightlife, beer, wine, nicest pint 12 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

When life hands you lemons,
there’s always bacon. 12 hours ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

Ndamukong Suh suspended 2 games. This shocked Suh so bad he lost his balance but luckily stomped on someones arm to prevent falling. 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

Watching old people trying to use a self-checkout kiosk is ten times more depressing than that Sarah McLachlan dog commercial. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

At my deepest core, I never truly believe I’m worthy of a cloth napkin. 53 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

Urban Meyer, Potatoes Au Gratin, and Lice
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