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The Florida Primary, Vanilla Ice, and Autocorrect

Today's Funniest Tweets

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The Florida Primary, Vanilla Ice, and Autocorrect
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

It wouldn’t be entirely surprising to learn that Thailand is located in Mexico. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

If you are having a bad day today, take a step back and think about what Blake Griffin did to Kendrick Perkins. #GuaranteedSmile 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

After Blake Griffin’s dunk, Kendrick Perkins has been downgraded to Kendrick Waffle House. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Good thing the #SuperBowl is buying promoted status on Twitter because god knows without that we’d never hear anything about the event. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Which fake presidential candidate has raised more cash, Sarah Palin or Stephen Colbert? http://t.co/MdrM8dLa 43 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I am becoming suspicious that if I had a problem, Vanilla Ice would not really solve it. #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

Tomorrow is FL primary, and Thurday is Groundhog’s Day. If Mitt still sees Newt’s shadow, it’s six more weeks of debates. 20 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I just legally moved to Florida, registered to vote, and cast 1000 ballots for Moon Gingrich as Lord Protector of Moontopia. 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

GOP primary exit polls in Florida at 4pm indicate 82% of seniors there have voted today…and also already have had dinner. 17 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

They’re voting in Florida. That always bodes well. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I feel like I’ve stood in this line before. Probably just déjà queue. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

When lunch becomes whatever you can reach without getting up, you may want to rethink some life choices. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

You can’t spell “ducking” without “autocorrect” 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I will vote for any candidate who promises to outlaw cash bar weddings. 3 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

I’m like the reverse Michael Jackson. I always wanted to be black. I’m sexually attracted to adults, and I have no talent whatsoever. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Honk your horn at a red light. You can tell which drivers are staring at their phones by who moves without looking up. 8 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

The Florida Primary, Vanilla Ice, and Autocorrect


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  • http://www.chatxxx.co p0is0nIvy

    what happened to vanilla ice anyway?

    • http://www.ientry.com/ Josh Wolford

      he got out of here. word to your mother.

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