Terra Nova, Green Day, and Monopoly at McDonalds

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

It’s Friday! And for that we are thankful. It seemed to drag on a bit for Drunk Hulk though. Like most Fridays, the tweeting topics are varied and have no real rhyme or reason. Enjoy a few laughs before your weekend:

@juliussharpe
Julius SharpeI wish the dinosaurs from “Terra Nova” were on “Whitney”. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@EugeneMirman
Eugene MirmanI wonder if Obama is collecting all the terrorists he’s killing in a giant pile he’ll show off at ground zero right before the election? 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@rainnwilson
RainnWilson#FF Nobody. Go outside and play. Paint a tree. Climb a hillock. Notice birds. 6 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto

@hipstermermaid
braden graeberThe worst part about this time of the year is having to go wake up Green Day. 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@DRUNKHULK
DRUNK HULKCOME ON 5 O’CLOCK! DRUNK HULK SEE MICHAEL HANEKE MOVIE THAT MOVE FASTER THAN TODAY! 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@thesulk
Alec SulkinRelax about your museum, shitty city. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@robdelaney
rob delaneyWe all say we wouldn’t let another Holocaust happen, yet here we are in a world where Kid Rock has multiple platinum albums. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@firstworldme
First World ProblemsWhen I’m eating cereal I have to turn my volume up on my television because the food crunching is so loud. #firstworldproblems 3 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

@rationalists
CJ WerlemanObama has now executed Anwar al-Awlaki and Bin Laden. Rick Perry has executed an innocent man and a coyote. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@FrankLongo
R Dot HLast year I played #McDMonopoly every meal for a month. I then had to play #McDOperation. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@Jesus_M_Christ
Jesus ChristI only got into this Messiah thing because I was a really shitty carpenter. 35 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto