All Posts Tagged Tag: ‘shutdown’

Penney Store Closings And Job Cuts To Save Company $65 Million

This past Wednesday, J.C. Penney announced it would be closing down 33 stores throughout the nation and cutting 2,000 jobs. The changes are part of an effort to save nearly $65 million each year. J.C. Penney Ceo, Myron Ullman III, stated recently, “As we continue to progress toward long-term profitable growth, it is necessary to re-examine the financial performance of …

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Bangkok Shutdown: “Surround Government Buildings,” Says Suthep

As the Bangkok shutdown continues on, the protest speeches are heating up amidst a party-like atmosphere. If you’re a bit unfamiliar with what’s been going on over in Thailand, it pretty much boils down to citizens wanting reform of a government they deem corrupt. After former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra was ejected by way of military coup in 2006, he …

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AXE Body Spray Gets School Shutdown, 8 Hospitalized

Bro, sometimes you just gotta spray solvent aerosol deodorants under your pits to get you smelling fresh for the ladies, you know what I mean? Slicking back the hair, sporting the sunglasses, and swag can only do so much for a pre-pubescent boy to evolve into a man. Everybody knows the cool rule of school says that the more you …

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Unemployment Claims Rise Due to Shutdown & Glitches

The unemployment weekly claims report released by the US Department of Labor indicates that initial unemployment claims rose to 374,000 this week, up 66,000 from the 308,000 total last week. The shutdown of the United States government was bound to impact the labor market, but the impact on these reported claims is perhaps less than one thinks. While 500,000 government …

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LADEE Set In Lunar Orbit, Regardless of Shutdown

Regardless of the government shutdown keeping a lot of NASA’s workers at home, the agency was still able to put its LADEE moon probe into lunar orbit. The Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer, or LADEE, took off from Cape Caneveral, Florida, on September 6, on the back of a small rocket. Incidentally, a frog photobombed coverage of the launch. …

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Latest Salmonella Outbreak Linked to Foster Farms

Nearly 300 people in 18 states may have been sickened by raw chicken products processed by Foster Farms in California, according to a health alert issued by the U.S. Department of Agriculture on Monday. According to the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, most of the 278 confirmed salmonella Heidelberg illnesses were confined to California, and the products were also …

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Bobby Jindal, “We’re All Frustrated…”

Today, Louisiana governor and chairman of the Republican Governors Association, Bobby Jindal, expressed frustration with the government shutdown and the lack of leadership in Washington while speaking with ABC’s Chief White House Correspondent, Jonathan Karl, and ABC News Political Director, Rick Klein, on Politics Confidential. “Like every other American, we’re all frustrated with what’s going on in D.C.,” says the …

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Porta Potties Rescue Salem, MA During Shutdown

Each October, Salem, Massachusetts, famous for its 1692 witch trials, holds a month-long festival called “Haunted Happenings” – though this year things have gotten complicated, with the partial shutdown of the federal government. The National Park Service was forced to close its Salem visitor center, including the bathrooms. Volunteers brought in porta potties to remedy the situation. Salem sees 25% …

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Dog Eats Money, U.S. Mutilated Currency Div. Steps In

A wily, one-eyed golden retriever from Montana named Sundance ate five Benjamins ($500 USD) worth his owner’s money last year, and the Mutilated Currency Division of the U.S. Department of the Treasury replaced it. Owner Wayne Klinkel was eating lunch with his wife, when Sundance got into a car cubby and ate the bills. Klinkel, a graphic designer in Helena, …

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Chuck Hagel Announces Return of DOD Employees

On Saturday, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel announced that “most” of the Pentagon’s 400,000 furloughed civilian employees will return to work starting Monday. The Pentagon, interpreting the Pay Our Military Act—a measure passed by Congress and signed into law by President Barack Obama just before the Government Shutdown to commit to paying military servicemen through the closure—is applying it to …

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Randy Neugebauer, New Lightning Rod in USG Outage

On a Tuesday local news program (shown here), Representative Randy Neugebauer (R-Tex.) shared his frustrations over the government shutdown that became official Monday at midnight. By Wednesday, the representative found himself the source of frustrations over a Washington, D.C.-based NBC affiliate video of him reprimanding a Park Service ranger who was following orders to prevent visitors from entering the World …

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Government Shutdown, As Told by Twitter’s Funniest

So, it happened. The government shut down. Although many government-run sites are now down for the count, it’s a good thing we still have the non-government-owned Twitter to help us all cope. Sometimes, a situation is so goddamn ludicrous, that all you can do it make jokes. And jokes, oh jokes there are a plenty. Check out what Twitter’s saying …

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