Shaq Will Help You Skip Work to Watch March MadnessBy: Chris Gabbard - March 7, 2012
March Madness is a special time in every man’s life when it is considered (somewhat more) socially acceptable to never leave the house, turn on the TV, and vegetate on the couch while watching sports for about 12 straight hours.
But in today’s 9 to 5 world, how do you make this dream a reality? Calling in sick is a too obvious. (Except for that one time when I really was sick during the first two days of the NCAA tournament. It’s amazing how much 15 shots of NyQuil will enhance your tournament experience.) You can’t spend precious vacation time. You already told them your mother died to get off for last year’s tournament. So what do you do to get out of work?
If you said, “Get four time NBA Champion and basketball legend Shaquille O’Neil to call my boss and leave him a personalized message telling him why I can’t come to work because we’re getting a makeover together,” you are either very well-connected and a slave to trends, or you’re using the new App featured on Dove Man+Care Facebook page.
To use Shaq’s Big Excuse, just go to the Dove Men+Care Brand Page, Click the Shaq’s Big excuse tab, and customize your personal message to your boss (or wife or girlfriend or anyone keeping you from the action).
The first step is to choose what you want Shaq to call said sucker. “Honey Bunny”, “Dude”, “Boss”, “Princess”, “Bro”, and “Playa” are your current options. Shaq will introduce himself as “The Big Aristotle”, “Superman”, “Shaqtus”, or the obvious choice “Shaq Deisel.” Then just pick your excuse. Shaq will tell them the two of you are “enjoying a Shaq movie marathon”, “in a yodeling competition”, “Hitting the beach”, or finding Shaq’s lost Champoinship ring, amongst others. Type in your phone number and that of the poor dupe you plan to fool, then choose whether Shaq will make the call now or during your favorite team’s game.
Presto, you just got off work with a pretty good excuse. If Shaq asked you to a yodeling competition, you wouldn’t say no, would you?