Sergey Brin Atomized Two Thieves with His Repulsor BeamsBy: Drew Bowling - June 8, 2012
Earlier today, after waking up from a nap in his capacious penthouse located in the heart of Mountain View, California, Google co-founder Sergey Brin responded to a plea from local authorities to help thwart an armed robbery-in-progress at a local Urban Outfitters.
Brin, who is never sleepy and actually only naps so as to subconsciously solve difficult sudoku puzzles, quickly sprang into action, donning his reality-augmenting specs and slipping into the latest Google invention, a battle suit prototype tentatively called Project Facebuster. Within moments, he arrived on the scene of the heist and confronted two thieves who, upon marveling at Brin’s stupefying battle suit, nervously clutched pillow cases of faux-ironic tchotchkes, trendy threads, and retro-fitted cap guns they looted from the Urban Outfitters.
Judging from the dark patches appearing on their britches, the luckless robbers had begun to secrete fear-pee and barely began to croak an utterance of surprise before Brin completely vaporized them with repuslor beams from his state-of-the-art gauntlets.
Having saved the day and seeing that it was good, and without saying a word, Brin quickly checked his email and updated his Google+ account with the use of his Project Glass frames while onlookers celebrated his heroics with cheer, then blasted off into bosom of the California sky.[The Tony Stark/Sergey Brin Image was craftily created by Enrique Gutierrez. Kudos to Barry Schwartz at Search Engine Roundtable for finding the pic. Oh, and as far as I know, Sergey Brin does not fight crime.]