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Open Marriage, SOPA, and Obama Singing Al Green

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Open Marriage, SOPA, and Obama Singing Al Green
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

After successfully slowing down #SOPA, Twitter has turned its attention to more important topics, like #ReplaceBandNamesWithPenguin. 17 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Obama clinches 2012 reelection by singing seven seconds of an Al Green song. http://t.co/HWfpjf20 4 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto

You just know that in the general, when Obama sings Al Green, Romney will come back strong with some Pat Boone… 4 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

If you’re wondering how Mad Men ends, it’s with Don Draper at a GOP debate in the present denying he ever asked Betty for an open marriage. 2 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

Why do I have this creepy feeling that SOPA is going to suddenly lurch up and try to choke us one last time? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Penguins #ReplaceBandNamesWithPenguin 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I wish I had the confidence to be seen in white pants… I barely have the confidence to be seen in white skin. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I started drinking after I ate, so now I have to drink more to get drunk. #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

Fun game! Figure out your landlord name. Take your first and last names and then add “Stupid Idiot” on the front. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Pizza is like sex. When it’s good, it’s great. When it’s bad, I beat up a chef. 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

I need to hear Mitt Romney sing the first line of “Use Me” by Bill Withers before I decide if he’s a worthy nominee. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

When is it going to be my turn to be George Clooney’s girlfriend? 4 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

Women, if you want to be taken seriously you really need to stop fucking Newt Gingrich. 13 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Just saw clip of Pres Obama singing Al Green. Randy thought it was pitchy, jLo and Steven loved it. He’s going to Hollywood! 15 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Open Marriage, SOPA, and Obama Singing Al Green
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