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Maroon 5, 11/11/11, and Threesomes

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Maroon 5, 11/11/11, and Threesomes
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today, we get a couple of tweets regarding today’s numerical anomaly, 11/11/11. We also
discuss alphabetical showering and get a great tip from the fake AP Stylebook.

Enjoy!

TIME TO TURN DAY UP TO 11! 17 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

My day feels more organized when I wash my body parts alphabetically. 7 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

My Skyrim pre-order didn’t arrive on release day. #firstworldproblems 8 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

This Penn State scandal is disgusting. Every detail makes me want to take a long, hot shower. 3 hours ago via TwitBird · powered by @socialditto

“Okay, here’s the deal…” (FDR) 6 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Tebow and Broncos are working to implement an option-style offense. Options include running the ball or running the ball. 4 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

Put quotation marks around every mention of “Bible,” just to see what happens. 3 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

@KimKardashian: 11/11/11 11:11 make a wish!” I wish I was black so you wouldn’t divorce me :( 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Maroon 5 would be more useful to me if they were an ingredient in my soft drink. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

“This is so cool!!!” – how to ruin a threesome 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Thanks to all the brave men and women like my dad whose service has allowed me to live my life like a total pussy. #HappyVeteransDay 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Does Veterans Day fall on 11/11/11 every year? 50 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Billy Crystal would be a great name for a meth dealer. 20 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

FB makes HS reunions awkward. Hey, I haven’t seen you 20 years. So how was that nap you took this afternoon? 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

It’s amazing how even the phrase “But….but….raping little boys!” still doesn’t win an argument with some Catholics or Penn State fans. 31 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Maroon 5, 11/11/11, and Threesomes


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