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Jehovah’s Witnesses, Twilight, and Rebel Romney

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Jehovah’s Witnesses, Twilight, and Rebel Romney
[ Social Media]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Mitt Romney says in an upcoming interview with People magazine that he once tasted a beer and tried a cigarette in his wayward youth. Thus, a hashtag #RebelRomney is born. We also learn how long the Supercongress has been locked and see that God might be confused with some types of thank yous.

Enjoy!

Dad finds it weird that you thank Him after a successful surgery. You realize the doctors and nurses are doing all the work, right? 34 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Caught pretending to smoke candy cigarettes in his prep school bathroom. #RebelRomney 8 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

When I struggle to write a tweet I realize my novel has no chance at all. 37 minutes ago via Twitterrific for Mac · powered by @socialditto

In his wayward youth, Mitt Romney once stepped on a crack to see if it really would break his mother’s back. #RebelRomney 11 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

According to the drunken handwriting on this notebook paper, I married a container of Old Bay last night. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

The uglier you are, the more of your face you should be forced to show in your avi. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Jehovah’s Witnesses have the worst knock knock jokes ever! 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Once only waited 59 minutes after a meal before swimming #RebelRomney 32 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Once took four gummy vitamins instead of the recommended two. #RebelRomney 5 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Reasons to be depressed: 1. Twilight made 140 million this weekend. 2. My parents are dead. 35 minutes ago via Batcomputer · powered by @socialditto

FACT: In the time the Supercongress spent failing to reach a budget deal, Kim Kardashian could’ve been married 5 times. 26 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

I forgot to charge my iPod last night so now when I drive I have to listen to the radio. #FirstWorldProblems 1 minute ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

Jehovah’s Witnesses, Twilight, and Rebel Romney
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