Guy Pokes His Ex, Gets Two-Year Internet Ban

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Guy Pokes His Ex, Gets Two-Year Internet Ban
[ Social Media]

When I say poke, I mean Facebook poke–that’s, of course, what brings this story within my purview. How in the hell, you may ask, could a judge see it fit to dole out such a harsh penalty for the simple act of poking someone on Facebook?

Alas, I must admit–I’ve given you the end of the story.

Let’s back up.

Four years ago, Houston resident Justin Pressler, 25, was convicted of some pretty serious crimes: stalking, harassment, and burglary–all perpetrated against his ex-girlfriend. The relationship had gone sour after less than a year.

The conviction landed Pressler with a 6-month prison sentence and a 10-year probation. Obviously, the terms of said probation involved refraining from having contact with the ex-girlfriend.

Did you know that a Facebook Poke counts?

Apparently, Justin Pressler didn’t know that. Or he didn’t care. Either way, the simple act of poking his ex on Facebook–an act that’s literally as simple as clicking your mouse one time–forced a Brazos County judge to completely alter the terms of his probation. Spoiler alert, it was for the worse.

According to the Houston Chronicle, not only will Pressler be banned from unsupervised internet use for two years, but now he has to wear a tracking device for the next year.

Don’t poke your ex-girlfriend, whom you harassed and burgled. Don’t violate your probation. You know what, just stop poking. It’s 2014–if you’re going to violate your probation, go out with a bang. Send her a pic on Snapchat or something.

Image via Facebook

Guy Pokes His Ex, Gets Two-Year Internet Ban
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