WWDC, Paul Newman, and Speed Stick

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
WWDC, Paul Newman, and Speed Stick
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Romney after watching Obama on Jimmy Fallon: “Darn it, I’ve got to get on Johnny Carson.”(image) 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    BREAKING: Newt Gingrich is suspending his campaign so he can spend more time being the nougaty filling in a Milky Way bar(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Karma is a boomerang, but dogma is a grenade.(image) 8 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn’t do enough Tim Burton films.(image) 4 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Next year, Apple should just hide the WWDC tickets in Wonka bars.(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Fruit for breakfast always seems like a punishment.(image) 7 hours ago via Twitterrific ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    2013: WWDC admission determined by Cupertino Hunger Games. /ht @rob_rix(image) 5 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Newt Gingrich will end his White House bid and apply for a job with the Secret Service.(image) 5 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    John Edwards may have illegally used campaign $ to hide his mistress & love child. In France he could run on that & win.(image) 1 day ago via Twitter for iPad ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Haven’t heard someone say “Google Drive” in at least 7 minutes; a clear sign that it’s going nowhere.(image) 2 hours ago via Mobile Web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Paul Newman is the Tupac of posthumous dressing releases(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Is it okay to make subtle linguistic stereotype jokes if you’re a lumberjack? I’m axing for a friend.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Speed Stick is one of a few deodorants that sounds like the name of a washed up rock band from the 70s.(image) 13 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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