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Tim Tebow, National Coming Out Day, and Chris Gaines

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Tim Tebow, National Coming Out Day, and Chris Gaines
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  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Has this week been the longest for anyone else? It’s only Tuesday. FML. Oh well, bring on the tweets.

    Google+ is like a gym membership. Everyone signs up for it but never uses it 2 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

    BREAKING: Univ of South Carolina has dismissed QB Stephen Garcia from the team. Tim Tebow expected to be named starter later today. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Happy National Coming Out Day, @MargieJPhelps !!!! 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    “Undefeated Detroit Lions” sounds like one of those phrases they throw in to sci-fi movies so you know it’s the future. 54 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    So, was Snake Pliskin really Captain Ron in an alternate reality? 8 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    Mitt Romney’s lack of pizza experience is really coming back to haunt him. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Ok pickup line: Unless you were molested by a guy who looks exactly like me, there’s no reason we shouldn’t grab coffee sometime. 5 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    Everyone at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park should ask for a refund when they find out they can’t ride Hermione. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    is waiting for the new Chris Gaines album. 6 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    I was going to go to America for my Second Coming, but they don’t seem to take too kindly to immigrants named Jesus. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Happy National Coming Out Day! Kick those doors down & be who you are! Lots of people love you! (You too Republican Senators!) 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I’d never compare people I don’t like to Hitler, but the people who make the little “x” button impossible to find on pop-up ads are Hitler. 20 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    If I show you a picture on my iPhone and you begin scrolling through my photos without asking, I’ll fucking run you over with my car. 23 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    “Yer left! Yer left! Yer left-left-left!” (one legged boot camp) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    Does anybody know when National Coming Out Day is in Iran?? 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto

    Does the store “Staples” enjoy confusing people by putting their name on a box of paper clips? 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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