Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
@ShawnGarrett
Shawn GarrettRandy Travis arrested for public intoxication in Dallas this morning. Or as country fans call it, Monday.
4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@MrBrandonStroud
Brandon StroudRandy Travis arrested for public intoxication, drove his car into three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway. 3 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@CMPunk
CM PunkThat was Clint Eastwood? I still thought it was Madonna. 20 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@JohnFugelsang
John FugelsangClint Eastwood never realized that the actual Halftime in America involved male dancers in loincloths lipsynching ‘Vogue.’ 6 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@SamGrittner
Sam GrittnerIf Sarah McLachlan and Clint Eastwood teamed up to make a commercial, one single viewing could bum out a country as big as Yugoslavia. 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@badbanana
Tim SiedellLove the day after the Super Bowl. Just found a Pizza Roll in my beard. 1 hour ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@CollegeHumor
CollegeHumorHow long do we think Tom Brady will be upset about the loss after he remembers he gets to put it in Gisele Bundchen? 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@jeremyhiebert
Jeremy HiebertI’m really saddened by the news about Syria and Iran today. I really thought Madonna’s ‘World Peace’ sign at halftime would work 4 hours ago via Echofon · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@ThisIsRobThomas
Rob ThomasM.I.A. gives the finger at the Super Bowl. ooooooh. she’s SO defiant. 13 year olds the world over snickered. 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@omarg
Omar L. GallagaM.I.A. should just say she was flipping the bird at those GoDaddy ads and everybody would be completely off her case. 5 hours ago via TweetDeck · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@robinlundberg
Robin LundbergWes Welker shaved before the postgame press conference. I guess he couldn’t handle both the drop and that mustache. 4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@mulaney
John MulaneyWes Welker and his mustache are leaving football to go play for the 1970s Pittsburgh Pirates. 5 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@tompapa
Tom PapaNow that football is over I can return to ignoring my wife and kids for no good reason. 18 minutes ago via Twitterrific · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@donni
donni Just found out Snoop Dogg isn’t even a real detective. 44 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@pattonoswalt
Patton OswaltI’m so hungover right now I need to make an “It Gets Better” video for my asshole. 51 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@firstworldme
First World ProblemsI forgot to put a fabric softener sheet in the dryer, now my clothes aren’t as soft. #firstworldproblems 4 hours ago via twitterfeed · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
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