The Oscars, Asteroids, and Children’s Books Made More Exciting

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
The Oscars, Asteroids, and Children’s Books Made More Exciting
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Today we catch a pretty funny trending hashtag, #ChildrensBooksMadeMoreExciting. Twitter is also buzzing about the news coming out of the Academy Awards and we learn what it means to have a phone voice similar to your real voice.

    Enjoy!

    Answer: They lie dormant for a period of time before becoming active and irritating. Question: What are cold sores or Coldplay. 1 hour ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

    I see no legitimate reason why Ghostface Killah can’t host this year’s Academy Awards. 1 hour ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    Belichick says they tried everything to make Haynesworth work, including putting a picture of a pork chop on the inside of his visor. 2 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

    The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Malfunction #ChildrensBooksMadeMoreExciting 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    If your phone voice isn’t different than your regular voice, I will assume that you’re a serial killer. 2 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    An asteroid just failed to destroy the Earth, so it’s up to Goldman Sachs now. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Bi-Curious George #ChildrensBooksMadeMoreExciting 4 hours ago via Twittelator · powered by @socialditto

    I heard that Herman Cain came up with his 999 plan while he was interviewing a German woman for a job. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    If God loved us, doughnuts would be health food. 5 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    Twitter has made it clear that a 12-week reality show in which a dozen potential #Oscars hosts competed against each other would be a hit. 1 hour ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    Watching my dad use his new iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try to communicate with her dead grandma on a Ouija board. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Since when is Earth afraid of asteroids, by the way? We’re
    America. 36 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Work only lets me use IE, so when I accidentally type things in the address bar, it brings up Bing. #FirstWorldProblems 28 minutes ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

    In my experience, cross-eyed employees are the best deterrent against shoplifting. You just can’t be positive that they’re not watching. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    #childrensbooksmademoreexciting If You Give a Mouse a Pot Cookie 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    LOL Cat in the Hat #ChildrensBooksMadeMoreExciting 29 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I’ll host the Oscars if Billy Crystal and Wolverine are busy… 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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