The Grammys, NASCAR, and Sprite

Josh WolfordSocial Media

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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today we have some fallout from last night's Grammy noms. We also find out what it will take for one user to respect NASCAR and learn what the phrase "Building For Jesus" really means.


The amount of people in LA tweeting that they're scared of the wind suggests that perhaps our medical marijuana system is out of control. 10 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

If NASCAR wants me to believe it’s not a sport for idiots, they should stop reminding the drivers to start their engines. 1 hour ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

Happy December! Unless you're single. Then. thankfully, you have a long, dreary winter to look forward to after spending the holidays alone! 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Somebody communicated with me via Google+ #firstworldproblems 3 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

Adele isn't gonna be nearly as happy with that Grammy when she finds out it doesn't have a chocolate center. 14 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

Toys R Us decides NOT to sponsor this year's Molesta Bowl between Penn St and Syracuse, NCAA in talks with Abercrombie 1 hour ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

"Building for Jesus" is code for "You won't get paid" 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Christmas reminds me that Santa Claus is always watching me, listening to my phone calls, taking photos....Wait, Rupert Murdoch is Santa? 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

You know that spot where the tip of your weiner touches the hotel robe? Yeah, so does every other guy who's ever stayed in that room. 36 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Grammys hiphop award categories is rap for hiphop dance classes for middle aged soccer moms at the city center. 14 hours ago via twicca · powered by @socialditto

Nothing says Christmas like a love duet between a 41-year-old woman and a 17-year-old boy set in a Nintendo/Macy's commercial. 46 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Newt Gingrich's head looks like a freezer bag full of mashed potatoes and old cat turds. 59 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I wish Sprite would make a condescending racially charged ad campaign for all types of people. 45 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I'm fat, I have a beard, and I'm more than willing to mentally scar children for life. Anyone in London looking for a cheap santa? 5 hours ago via spodlogger · powered by @socialditto

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again. It's actually her third child. The first had to be offered to Khloe as a human sacrifice. 21 hours ago via Facebook · powered by @socialditto

"Bon Iver for Best New Artist? Ugh, I liked him in '08." -- every hipster in America 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Josh Wolford
Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer. Follow him on Twitter: @joshgwolf Instagram: @joshgwolf Google+: Joshua Wolford StumbleUpon: joshgwolf