Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
@TheEllenShow
Ellen DeGeneresHappy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! Your books are better than some juice. Something something something Bruce. I’m not great with rhymes. Caboose.
2 hours ago via WhoSay · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@kevinseccia
Kevin SecciaRush Limbaugh is what’s created when the formula that made Swamp Thing is instead poured over YouTube comments and a glazed ham. 1 day ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@SolChristie
Sol Christie#MovieBands Terminator- The Rise Of Florence And The Machines 9 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@clarkekant
Clarke KantIf I could eat dinner with anyone, alive or dead, I’d pick John Candy because I bet he’s like really really hungry by now. 3 minutes ago via Tweetbot for iOS · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyIt’s hard to diet because food. 1 hour ago via Echofon · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@firstworldme
First World ProblemsI was not dressed warmly enough to enter the beer cave. #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@Seventhwheel
Paul Ferris#MovieBands The Quick and the Grateful Dead 43 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@RoryAlbanese
Rory AlbaneseiOS 6? Isn’t that the operating system that Skynet uses? #RutRoh 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@TheTweetOfGod
God50 years ago today, Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game. 50 years ago EVERY day, Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 times after a game. 20 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzTaking painkillers is a perfectly rational response to being Rush Limbaugh. 5 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@theleanover
Adam WilsonThe Doctor Zhivago-go’s #MovieBands 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@conanobrienswyf
StephanieFree Hipster Band Names: Its Better On Vinyl, The Canvas Totes, Yoga Patrol, The Raw Diets, Drinking Out Of Mason Jars, Bon Over. 3 hours ago via UberSocial for Android · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@DRUNKHULK
DRUNK HULKJUSTIN BIEBER TURN 18! VERY EXCITING! THAT MEAN HE ALMOST OLD ENOUGH TO CRINGE AT ALL AWFUL THING HE DID! 4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@kellyoxford
kelly oxfordCanadians watch US politics like Americans watch Jersey Shore. 5 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
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