Richard Branson Often Carries Around Scissors to Clip People’s Neckties

Richard Branson continues to demonstrate that other people’s drug-laced fantasies is simply the way he lives his life. After buckling Kelso into his private spaceship and engaging in some underw...
Richard Branson Often Carries Around Scissors to Clip People’s Neckties
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  • Richard Branson continues to demonstrate that other people’s drug-laced fantasies is simply the way he lives his life. After buckling Kelso into his private spaceship and engaging in some underwater manta ray-wrestling, what could Sir Richard Branson follow up with?

    He’s actually scaled back the scope of his actions with his latest hijinks. Instead of going fishing inside of an active volcano or genetically engineering the crocoduck, he’s simply been going around and clipping off people’s neckties.

    With scissors.

    That he carries around with him.

    For this express purpose.

    Apropos of absolutely nothing, the founder of Virgin Group wrote today that he’s fed up with ties and thinks society should get over this sartorial anachronism. In a blog post that sounds like it dropped out of a cloud of pot smoke rather than from a platonic dialogue, Branson explained his detest for neckties:

    Why was the tie ever invented? Everyone in business looks the same and dresses the same. I’m sure they only exist because bosses, after being forced to wear ties all their life, are determined to inflict the same fate on the next generation.

    We received a note from a reader named Steve Mambo in Kenya who shares my frustrations with the tie. He wrote: “Personally I feel that men wearing ties and suit in general create a fixed working environment and thinking outside the box…

    “Ties and suit make me uncomfortable (am sure a statement shared by many others) and hence affecting my performance. I bet your teams at Virgin are among the lucky guys who don’t have to wear ties and I know they give their all when it comes to performance.”

    You are right Steve. Being comfortable and confident in what you are wearing can only help people come up with more innovative and original thoughts. It’s a little thing, but can make all the difference.

    So I am continuing my lifelong campaign to get rid of the tie. Join me, find your nearest pair of scissors and cut your tie off. Or better still, cut your friend’s tie off! They’ll thank you for it when the ideas start flowing.

    There you have it: the secret for becoming a billionaire many times over. Clip off that necktie, turn it into a cravat, and liberate your mind from the shackles of fashion’s antiquity.

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