First, everyone seemed sure that Portia and Ellen were bound for divorce. Then everyone was sure they were having a baby. Then came the day Portia appeared on Ellen’s show and discussed those rumors.

“They want us to have a baby. Did you see it says, ‘They’re finally starting a family,” de Rossi said, pointing to a magazine cover. “Like, are people really that mad at us? … So, um, no … we’re not.”

The appearance seemed to quell several rumors at once. The baby rumor was gone. The pair seemed just fine, so the divorce rumor started waning.

Then came the planned evening of the pet charity event that the couple didn’t make it to. They were supposed to be at the Saving SPOT! fund-raiser at Tiato in Santa Monica that evening.

“Ellen and Portia were supposed to be at the event at 5 p.m., a source told Page Six, “but at 6:30 p.m., the media was still waiting for their arrival. Reporters were told they were on their way, until the head of the charity informed everyone at the end of the event that they weren’t going to make it due to ‘logistics.’

“Ellen and Portia were delayed and were in the car on the way, when they had an epic fight. They ended up turning around and not going to the fund-raiser.”

The term “epic fight” trended for days.

Finally, the couple had to speak up and set the record straight.

“We were happy to lend our names as honorary chairs and the organization was always aware that we would be unable to attend,” Ellen said in a statement. “This is the first time we have seen our images attached to the invite. It was not approved and it is misleading.”

Ellen’s lawyer Marty Singer swung harder, saying,”The story is a complete lie. My client told the organizer they never agreed nor planned to attend the event. There was no fight that caused them not to attend.”

Ok, so now we’re all good, right? It’s getting tough to keep up. Especially now that those ubiquitous “inside sources” are now saying that Portia has started suspiciously showing up on the set of Ellen, keeping an eye on her woman.

“It is kind of creepy,” a source tells Radar Online. “Portia never used to come to see her at work. Ellen tells us that it helps having her there because she ‘at least she doesn’t have to worry about her being home alone. I have to admit, however, it seems like Portia is being slightly controlling by her unplanned visits.”

Oh, well. Another day, another Portia/Ellen news cycle.