Porn Rebuke: Missile Defense Employees Caught Testing The Wrong Kind Of Missiles

The guys tasked with knocking a missile out of the sky (the ol’ hitting a bullet with a bullet approach), and finding other ways to protect our country from a ballistic missile attack, have been...
Porn Rebuke: Missile Defense Employees Caught Testing The Wrong Kind Of Missiles
Written by Josh Wolford
  • The guys tasked with knocking a missile out of the sky (the ol’ hitting a bullet with a bullet approach), and finding other ways to protect our country from a ballistic missile attack, have been tending to the wrong kinds of launches.

    According to an internal memo obtained by Bloomberg, there’s a porn problem in the Pentagon (albeit a small one).

    MDA has more than 8,000 employees, and less than a half- dozen were found to have accessed restricted sites or downloaded inappropriate materials…

    …Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images.

    These actions are not only unprofessional, they reflect time taken away from designated duties, are in clear violation of federal and DoD and regulations, consume network resources and can compromise the security of the network though the introduction of malware or malicious code.

    According to the rest of the memo, the porn-watchers are subject to suspensions and termination if they continue to violate the rules.

    “As we develop, test, and field an integrated Ballistic Missile Defense System (BMDS), the MDA works closely with the Combatant Commanders (e.g. Pacific Command, Northern Command, etc.) who will rely on the system to protect the United States, our forward deployed forces, and our friends and allies from hostile ballistic missile attack,” says the MDA’s about page.

    That’s a serious responsibility. And all really (really, really, incredibly) lame dick jokes aside, browsing porn from computers that contain sensitive government information is probably a bad idea. If you think that a LiveJasmin popup is the worst that could happen, think again.

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