In just face it, most people use their computers mainly to watch porn news, an Owasso, Oklahoma man has been arrested after reportedly stealing a computer from the Owasso First Assembly of God church. That, in and of itself, isn’t very funny. But oh man, the rest of the story is.

As KRMG reports, an employee at the church contacted police to report the missing computer. After putting some of the facts together himself, the employee told police that it must have been someone familiar with the church that perpetrated the theft. There were no signs of a break-in and the thief didn’t make off with anything else.

The plot thickens.

Police didn’t really have any credible leads until a couple of weeks later when they learned that the tipster had been contacted by a company called Covenant Eyes, whom the church had paid to monitor and filter the content accessed via their church computers.

Covenant Eyes told the concerned employee that someone had been trying to look at porn on the stolen computer.

Not only that, but that a man had actually called the company and requested that they unblock his access. Please, gimme my porn. Pretty please.

Enter Troy Ridling, a parishioner, who police were able to track down based on his call to Covenant Eyes. Once he was apprehended, it took him a little while to confess to the theft – but he eventually admitted the whole thing.

Covenant Eyes, if you were wondering, is a Owosso, Michigan-based company that provides software for internet filtering and online accountability. They’ve recently published an e-book called “Your Brain on Porn: 5 proven ways porn warps your mind and 3 biblical ways to renew it.” I wonder if they’ll gift Mr. Ridling with a complementary copy.

Sure, God is always watching. But so are the church-sanctioned porn police.

[h/t Gizmodo]