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Nickelback, Dick Clark, and CNN’s News Ticker

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Nickelback, Dick Clark, and CNN’s News Ticker
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Something something Dick Clark hologram.(image) 16 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Dad always used to say, “Watch out for that Ted Nugent guy. He seems kind of crazy.”(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Demi Moore would like suggestions for a new Twitter name. I’m thinking @SingleCradleRobber might work.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    TIme editor fired for putting Tebow and Lin in list of 100 Most Influential People instead of 100 Most Influential Internet Memes.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I bet Kim Kardashian has already blown the Tupac hologram.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    The best prank ever would be displaying a friend’s Internet browser history on the CNN news ticker.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Remember writers, while your screenplays and pilots get trashed, a 2nd Jersey Shore cast members will get on the NY Times Best-Sellers List.(image) 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    So I guess Ryan Seacrest finally found the last horcrux.(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    If you play a Nickelback song backwards you’ll hear devil messages. Even worse, If you play it forward, you’ll hear Nickelback.(image) 42 minutes ago via Buffer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    17th sequel title: The Girl who got her Dragon Tattoo Removed.(image) 1 hour ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    GOODBYE DICK CLARK! YOU ONLY MAN IN AMERICA WHO ABLE TO DROP BALL AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD!(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    If you didn’t get your taxes in, you can always file an extension by dangling the tax rep from a highrise. I do it every year.(image) 2 hours ago via Batcomputer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Ted Nugent says the meeting with the Secret Service is “no big deal. They just want some advice about hookers I think.”(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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