The Jenna Marbles makeup spoof went viral several years ago for two reasons.
1. It’s hilarious.
2. It’s hilarious because it’s true.
3. There is no 3 - but if you're a profane-a-phobe, this is your warning that you might not enjoy Jenna's video as much as the other 60 million folk who watched it did:
When I was enjoying the more favorable end of my twenties, my “Friday night” mug pretty much doubled as my daily routine. It took a few years to realize that not only are tarantu-lashes unnecessary and time consuming, but that most people aren’t a fan of them anyway. It took me equally long to realize that between taking less alcohol, more water, less crappy food, and more sleep... I could reduce problems like face puffiness and skin blemishes alike (who'd have thought?). And thusly, I could (try to) enter my impending thirties a little more gracefully than some of my cohort group. Bless them. Mind you, I say “try” because underneath it all - “it all” being a Sephora mask - I’m still that chick who washes her face at night and sometimes thinks, “Oh, no. That can’t possibly be me…”
So, here are some fun tips you can mess around with on holiday this summer to either augment your existing beauty or reinforce your denial about how you actually look.
The first thing you might want to consider is – what about my face would I like to accentuate today?
House Bunny pic.twitter.com/9ErdU4wkmY
— Movie Memories™ (@MOVIEMEMORlES) April 4, 2014
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES
Why wasn't I born with giant eyeballs like Disney's pretty protagonists have?
I'm not the only little girl who grew up desiring anime peepers. And as I still haven't really gotten over my eye envy, I've taken to the experts for tips on how to extend my make-believe game from childhood into my daily makeup routine. For example, Makeup Forever (video below) suggests a trick I've heard several times: eye contouring. By adding white or light eyeshadow onto your lid, some darker shadow into the crease, and then the same light shade onto the brow bone - you make your eyes automatically appear larger. The trick is to extend the white shade on the lid a bit higher up than where your natural lid goes into the crease – and draw that crease higher than the actual crease with the darker shade. Take that, mother nature!
The following two tutorials show – you can either go subtle with slight variations from your natural skin tone or more extreme when it comes to dressing up your eyes.
The more contrast, the more dramatic it will look.
If you love your thin lids, the white liner or eyeshadow can simply bring out what you already love about yourself, too, as this artist shows:
— Napoleon Perdis ™ (@napoleonperdis) March 23, 2014
And under the eye?
You can go dramatic with dark, liquid eyeliner. Or you can pop on a subtle dark-ish pencil or cream liner and then cover it with a shadow similar (or a shade darker) to what you used on the crease. If you dab it just a tad below the lower lashes, it can make the lower lashes look thicker and the entire eye look more wide and awake as you wait for your coffee to kick in.
This very skilled lady demonstrates how it's done:
There was also a suggestion I read in Cosmo about putting a little dab of white shadow or eyeliner on the inner eye corner of the eye. Indeed this pop of "Snow White" can make you feel a bit more fairy princess when you wake up feeling more like “Maleficent”.
And – no – I don't mean the sexy Angelina version.
After giving up on fake eyelashes (which made my real eyelashes start to fall out – probably because I did it every day – the wrong way), I got some advice from a friend about how to make my regular mascara have that polymerizing and building effect. Brittany Cretella of IzzyBizzyMakeup shared during one of her mascara reviews that she resolves the issue of mascaras that fail to lengthen - not by tossing them but by "placing black eyeshadow at the tips while it [the mascara] was wet and then reapplying the mascara to extend the lashes" Voila! Go-go-gadet lash effect.
WAR PAINT ORDER
It’s always a bummer seeing flecks of dark shadow after your facial masterpiece has almost been completed. This is why makeup artist Karen of Makeupandbeautyblog.com shares that the way she applies her makeup is: eyeshadow and mascara, foundation after, and bronzer and powders toward the end. But everyone's different. There's really no "wrong" way. You can draw a big blue whale on your forehead, and we'll still love you. However, if you’re like me and get easily perturbed by bits of makeup ruining your facial art, this order isn't half bad. Even if you do end up with eyelashes spotted with powder, it's nothing that can't be fixed with a bit of black eyeliner. Just brush it right over your mascara to help re-darken the coat.
PUCKER UP WITH PIGMENTS
If you’re so obsessed with your eyeshadow that you could literally kiss it – then do!
Did you know you can turn your favorite shade of shadow into a lip gloss by merely adding petroleum jelly?
Just combine the two in a spoon and apply.
— Colorevolution (@4Colorevolution) April 8, 2014
CONTOUR NIP & TUCK
I think the day I learned about “contouring” was the day my future plastic surgeon lost business.
As Jenna Mourey so famously puts it, “The goal is to make your face look nothing like your face.” She’s not wrong – not entirely anyway. If you’re good enough at it, you can morph your mug into almost anyone (ever seen Carly Paige?)
Gwen Stefani says, “I was born blonde, but they forgot to tell my hair that.” I feel you, Gwen. They also forgot to tell my cheekbones to look more like Cameron Diaz's circa 1999. Lucky for us, we have bleach and contouring workarounds to optically delude ourselves and others. From cheekbones to noses and jawlines, there’s a daily hack to avoid hacking off bits of bone and cartilage – if you’re into that sort of thing.
Also, it helps a bit for those “I ate way too much Chinese food last night and look like an amoeba” mornings when you wake up looking like you’ve had an allergic reaction to shellfish.
And if you love what yo' mama gave you (which you well should), maybe you just want a subtle accentuation of what you've got going on. Some played down contouring can do that too.
I love the euphemisms in these tutorials: "Push it this way" and "give it a more slender look" are so much better than what I'd say if I were making the video: "My real nose belongs in a circus! Let's change that!"
I joke around about indulging vanity, but I truly do champion loving ourselves as we are and making makeup more of a fun way to accent the features we do like about ourselves - not just cover up the perceived blemishes. In that same vein, remember there's no "wrong way" to do your makeup. These are just some shared tips and everyone has their own style. But one thing is universal. Somebody once told me your best makeup is your smile – and it's taking me a while to learn that's true (even though it goes against everything the scowling models in my favorite fashion magazines would have me believing). People flock to happy folk like mosquitoes do to my thighs when I’m trying to tan. Plus, we'll all get old eventually – which means we have to decide which kind of wrinkles we want to end up sporting: the mean mug wrinkles? Or the happy eye crinkles?
So my final tip for your summer makeup routine is simple: Find something every morning that makes you laugh or smile…
…and use it all day like blotting paper when your boss puts you on the verge of head implosion.
— Alex Heavens (@AlexHeavens1) January 31, 2014
Have a favorite makeup tip? Share it here!
Image via Youtube