Katy Perry just wanted to buy a nice place where she could live, walk in the garden, meditate. The Archdiocese of Los Angeles had just such a place for sale. But the nuns who used to live at the place have already tried to sell it to a restaurant developer.

The Archdiocese said the deal the nuns struck won’t work, because it is contingent upon the restauranteur being able to get zoning changes in the area to build a restaurant/hotel. The Archdiocese says the neighbors are opposed and the deal is dead before it gets out of the gate. Katy Perry’s offer requires no such contingency, and gives the nuns a nice chunk of money in trust to live on.

So the nuns and the Archdiocese went back and forth. The nuns want their original deal with the restauranteur. The Archdiocese wants the deal with Katy Perry.

“The archbishop has made a personal promise to care for the sisters. We want to make sure no one takes advantage of them,” a spokesperson for the Archdiocese said.

The Archdiocese says deal the sisters cut only gets $100,000 up front, and the rest contingent on zoning changes going through.

“How they were persuaded to do this, I don’t know,” an attorney for he archdiocese said of the deal with the restauranteur. “Either the sisters were taken advantage of, or there’s more going on than I understand.”

“There’s no reason for them to allege that,” the restauranteur says of the Archdiocese claim that the zoning changes are a dealbreaker. “It’s part of the ridiculousness that propels this whole story forward.”

Needless to say, this whole mess would not be tabloid news if the name “Katy Perry” was not attached to it. You might see it in the L.A. Times, but not the New York Times.

So, many wondered last week if perhaps the nuns had some personal objection to selling to Katy Perry. She did, after all, have hit songs about kissing girls and being so gay.

The nuns, however, dismissed that speculation.

thank you lord jesus for Katy Perry.♡

— ⠀ (@KatySlayer) July 21, 2015

“Well, I found Katy Perry and I found her videos and … if it’s all right to say, I wasn’t happy with any of it,” said Sister Rita, one of the nuns wanting to go with a different buyer.

But when the deal is examined more closely, the whole thing hinges on the same thing all deals end up hinging on:

Money.

“She’s a very nice person, but it’s not the better deal. This is about money – control of money,” Sister Rita admitted.

“There is no moral objection,” Sister Rita said.

Katy Perry’s offer is all cash, plus the $4.5 million additional property purchase.

Is anyone in real estate following the Los Feliz convent sale? It seems like a no brainier that the Archdiocese CAN sell to Katy Perry.

— Kimberly Dotseth (@blendrealestate) July 21, 2015

Well, that’s not what the nuns told the Archdiocese.

“In selling to Katy Perry, we feel we are being forced to violate our canonical vows to the Catholic Church,” Sister Catherine Rose Holzman wrote to the Archdiocese of Los Angeles in a letter.

So the battle rages on. The nuns want a sit-down with the Archbishop, saying they hope the whole thing goes all the way to the Pope, if necessary.

“We feel terrible about what’s going on,” one of the nuns said. “We’d like to have a nice, friendly talk and iron this out.”

But another of their number said, “All of the above would and should have been avoided if the chancery personnel possessed a modicum of humility and honesty.”

But she also suggested that the Archdiocese “even the score” by putting $3 million in the nuns’ bank account.

Sounds like Sister Rita hit the nail on the head:

“This is about money – control of money.”

Rihanna, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Britney Spears used to be good pop stars. Why did they give up and turned into trash

— Albi Zamolodchikova (@AlbiCalderone) July 21, 2015