Holly Madison has a new tell-all memoir that could very well cause some big waves. Not only does she talk about her former Playboy Mansion bunkmates, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt, but about the man who owned the mansion, Hugh Hefner.

Holly Madison’s book is called Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny and is currently racking up pre-orders for a June 23 release.

When it comes to Hugh Hefner, Madison spares no ire.

“I learned Hef was the manipulator and that he pitted us against one another,” Madison says. “I realized I wasn’t treated well. I’m done being afraid of people. I don’t have any loyalty to Hef. I haven’t talked to him in four years, so there’s no reason to reach out now. Besides, it’s the truth.”

She talks about one specific incident, not long after her arrival at the Playboy Mansion, that made her question whether she had made the right decision in coming there.

“‘Would you like a Quaalude?’ Hef asked, leaning toward me with a bunch of large horse pills in his hands, held together by a crumpled tissue,” Madison recounts. She turned the pills down.

“Hef did not miss a beat: ‘Okay, that’s good,’ he said, nonchalantly. ‘Usually, I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills thigh openers.’”

In hindsight, Holly Madison regrets these kinds of moments.

“I want to scream ‘PAUSE!’ and freeze-frame that moment of my life. I want to grab that young girl, shake her back into reality and scream, ‘What the hell are you thinking?’” Madison says.

In fact, she says she was so miserable that she contemplated suicide. “I just couldn’t take my misery anymore,” she admits.

That’s part of why she is writing her book now. She says she wrote it because she wants her daughter, two-year-old Rainbow, to eventually read it.

“I want her to understand why I made the choices I made,” Madison says. “And hopefully learn from them and not make stupid mistakes herself.”

But Holly Madison talks about her tempestuous relationship with Kendra Wilkinson, who is currently patching her marriage with Hank Baskett in view of all onlookers on Marriage Boot Camp.

“For someone who was all of a sudden trying to act like she was better than Bridget and me, she sure wasn’t above using us for publicity when she needed it,” Madison says of Wilkinson.

Holly Madison says she texted Kendra Wilkinson to tell her she was “the fakest person” she had ever met. Wilkinson responded with:

“WHO ARE YOU???? I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU! WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS. IT WAS ALL JUST WORK.”

“After that, I deleted her number from my phone,” Madison says. “Kendra and I haven’t spoken since, and I have to say, I don’t miss her.”

#HollyMadison totally shades #KendraWilkinson! http://t.co/cQIln8CBNm pic.twitter.com/XZ1sAhPOpg

— Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) June 12, 2015

Holly Madison has now written two books. The first was called The Showgirl Next Door: Holly Madison’s Las Vegas.

Holly Madison Said She Contemplated Suicide While Living With Hugh Hefner http://t.co/vIodUxIFYG pic.twitter.com/QrFnGgnmID

— LAist (@LAist) June 11, 2015