Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Tip: If you’re unclear why Twitter is buzzing about Geraldo Rivera, check here.
Enjoy!
According to Geraldo Rivera, Michael Cera is America’s most dangerous gang member.
Happy National Puppy Day everyone. This holiday will not be celebrated in the Vick household.
Tori Spelling is a human vending machine. RT @usweekly: Tori Spelling is pregnant with her FOURTH child just FIVE months after giving birth.
Kim Kardashian has flour thrown on her. Uh huh-huh huh. Then Khloe Kardashian tried to eat her.
Poor Kim Kardashian covered in flour. Although that’s not the first time she’s been caught on camera with white stuff all over her face.
If you use “bro” more than once in a sentence I will DESTROY your surfboard.
Drinking games>hunger games.
TMZ reporting “BREAKING NEWS” that Whitney Houston had cocaine in her system when she died. More BREAKING NEWS: Sky is blue. Water is wet.
You know what they call a Hunger Games with cheese in France? A Battle Royale with cheese.
“I found a hoodie in Al Capone’s vault!” – Geraldo Rivera
“Lincoln’s love of the theater killed him as surely as John Wilkes Booth.” — Geraldo Rivera
Thanks to “Draw Something” I now know that I’m awesome at drawing cartoon boners.
I’m making Robin see Hunger Games. As long as he’s going to fight like a girl, he might as well learn how to do it well.
Let’s not let a few poorly chosen words from Geraldo wipe out a lifetime of brilliant, thought-provoking journalism.
Just looked through my grandparents’ old photo albums. Never would’ve guessed they were so into instagram.
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