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Donald Trump, Wax Angelina Jolie, and Kenyans

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Donald Trump, Wax Angelina Jolie, and Kenyans
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Today we have plenty of tweets talking about Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump, we see what Jan Brady would be like as a realtor, and we also learn the unsettling truth about the night janitor at a wax museum.

    Enjoy!

    I heard Newt Gingrich bought beautiful Tiffany cuff links for all the GOP nominees. 2 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto

    @ClayTravisBGID Vince Young tried to throw a temper tantrum after tonight game….but it was intercepted. 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

    Kenyans run fast because all of the other countries are trying to tickle them. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I wonder how many times a year the night janitor at Madame Tussaud’s kisses the wax Angelina Jolie on the lips. Probably a lot. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    BET SANTA FREAK OUT WHEN HE GET NEW LIST FROM THAT CRAIG KID! 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Nickelback is so talented. 45 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

    The guy in front of me at the ATM is doing multiple transactions #FirstWorldProblems 1 hour ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

    My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud. 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    I wish it was gain weight “for” the holidays instead of “during” the holidays. 16 minutes ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

    “Location, Location, Location” – Jan Brady, Realtor 51 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Clicking the ‘Report Spam’ button was the closest I got to a feeling of accomplishment today. 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    Dear Santa: Lumps of coal are environmentally unfriendly. May I suggest a “Previously Viewed” Last Airbender DVD from Blockbuster instead? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Donald Trump is moderating the next GOP debate? I’m starting to think that these debates are planned by SNL writers. 31 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    #TNF Vince Young just bent over to untie his shoes in the locker room and threw out his back. It was intercepted. 14 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Every Lady Gaga song sounds like the coked out club remix of some early Madonna single. 4 days ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

    #BestAlbumEver – Under the Mistletoe by Justin Bieber. 54 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

    I’m glad Newt Gingrich’s surge gives him the opportunity to be despised by a whole new generation. http://t.co/vnQrX2bH 2 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto

    Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump are going to sit down for a face to face. Hope they got a big room. That’s a lot of face. 13 hours ago via SocialOomph · powered by @socialditto

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