Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we participate in a popular trending topic of the day, #SnookisNewYearsResolutions. We also find out the best show about hoarders and see an easy way to win an ugly Christmas sweater contest.
Enjoy!
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzAlmost done building my Nativity scene. Just need to find a tiny Tim Tebow.
11 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@AdamComedian
Adam HunterR. Kelly said that he has written 32 new chapters of “Trapped In the Closet.” It’s 2011, just come out of the closet already. 15 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@biorhythmist
mattIt’s cool now, but for the other 11 months, “Do You Hear What I Hear?” is a sad tale of paranoid schizophrenia. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Lifeinsandbox
MichaelDoes anyone know if Ben Roethlisberger can still rape with that high ankle sprain? 2 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@TWlTTERWHALE
Fail Whale#MarioSays “Don’t eat the flowers. They give me bad heartburn.” 5 hours ago via UberSocial for Android · powered by @socialditto
@PaulyMortadella
Pauly MillerThe story of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer teaches us that being different is bad, until someone popular likes you. Just like Twitter. 2 hours ago via twicca · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonMy favorite show about hoarders is 19 Kids And Counting. 35 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@badbanana
Tim SiedellYou know you have a lot of tattoos when you can win an ugly Christmas sweater contest by going shirtless. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@jewelk
Lisa Krapf#SnookisNewYearsResolutions to fall down on every beach in Jersey. 32 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@msalicenutting
msalicenuttingIf the world really does end on Dec 21st, 2012, at least we’ll still have had time to see The Hobbit. #apocalypticoptimism 14 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@TheTweetOfGod
GodWhy do people still believe in Me?
Because I’m too big to fail. 54 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@DeepLove_
FeelThis#SnookisNewYearsResolutions get a job interview at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. 22 minutes ago via Mobile Web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s Head#SnookisNewYearsResolutions GLT = Get Legs Together 1 minute ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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