Bret Michaels Parodies Himself; You Can’t Look Away

Bret Michaels didn’t invent cock rock, hair metal, metal ballads, denim metal, glam, do-rags, tattoos, eyeliner, car crashes, band feuds, ripoff songwriting, MTV celeb reality shows, shameless count...
Bret Michaels Parodies Himself; You Can’t Look Away
Written by Mike Tuttle
  • Bret Michaels didn’t invent cock rock, hair metal, metal ballads, denim metal, glam, do-rags, tattoos, eyeliner, car crashes, band feuds, ripoff songwriting, MTV celeb reality shows, shameless country music crossover attempts, or rehab. But Bret Michaels has dipped his boot toe into every bit of it and come out looking like a pioneer.

    With his band Poison, Michaels tore up the music charts for a few albums, eventually becoming the subject of a VH1 Behind the Music episode. His exploits are the stuff of semi-legend, always playing silver medal at best to the vanguard of Gene Simmons, Nikki Sixx, David Lee Roth, and more than a few real rock and roll artistes from across the pond. Bret Michaels can’t tie Iggy Pop’s shoes.

    But Bret Michaels can sell vehicles. Nissan recently tapped the “Talk Dirty to Me” singer to do commercials for their “Tough Love” ad campaign that promotes their line of commercial vans.

    Throughout the video for Michaels’ cover of Lionel Richie and Diana Ross’ hit song “Endless Love’, Michaels pulls out almost every rock video icon cliche that has made him the man that he is today. Watch the video below and see if you catch:

    * chick guitar player in Daisy Duke shorts and leather cowboy hat
    * backlit silhouette shots
    * a golden microphone
    * over-emotive hand gestures
    * outside band shots
    * tunnel chamber shots
    * heavy metal hand gestures
    * wind tunnel hair blowing
    * microphone cable spinning,
    * hot chick with glasses
    * a jackhammer as penis gesture
    * a guitar on fire
    * riding atop a vehicle
    * getting a tattoo
    * pointing at the camera
    * gratuitous sparks and smoke
    * getting tossed a guitar
    * smashing an acoustic guitar
    * panoramic camera swing around soloing guitar
    * duckface lips
    * back-to-back pose with guitarist
    * smashing an electric guitar
    * slo-mo everywhere
    * walking away with guitar case
    * driving off into the sunset with the hot chick
    * a flame-thrower
    * fireworks
    * a bobble-head doll(?)

    Anybody can sell a white commercial-grade minivan. But Bret Michaels sells the hell out of a white commercial-grade minivan.

    Image via YouTube

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