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Brangelina, Cory Booker, and North Korea

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Brangelina, Cory Booker, and North Korea
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    I’m pretty sure that horribly sad sound is Jennifer Aniston weeping in the corner. #brangelina #sorryJen(image) 9 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    TLC Show Idea: ‘SCARF ACE.’ Flamboyantly gay dude who is a whiz at making scarves!(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Not to be outdone by Cory Booker, Chris Christie just ran into a bakery and saved a tray of Cinnamon Rolls from burning.(image) 13 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    CNBC’s motto should be “Adding excitement to financial coverage by moving the camera around for no reason.”(image) 8 minutes ago via HTC Peep ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Poor old North Korea. They should start with something smaller than a rocket launch. Like a raffle or something.(image) 13 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    The shortest distance between two points is betting a cab driver $20 bucks he can’t get you there in 10 minutes.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Billy Joel didn’t start the fire. But Cory Booker put it out. #CoryBookerStories(image) 5 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    North Korea: “Yeah, the test failed, but at least we didn’t try to re-make The Three Stooges”(image) 18 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Maybe sharks are angry because they can’t hug 🙁(image) 16 hours ago via txt ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    North Korea’s missile went down so fast that it’s code name has been changed to ‘The Kardashian”.(image) 20 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Going to Disneyland. It’s sort of like a zoo where you can go to see unhappy families trapped in cute little environments.(image) 18 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    If you’re feeling bad about yourself, keep in mind that Brad Pitt is engaged to Billy Bob Thornton’s sloppy seconds.(image) 25 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Twitter doesn’t allow time for that special part of the brain that says, “Wait, that’s not funny.”(image) 58 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    That’s not actually my blood and flesh. Stop being gross.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    North Korea launched a rocket that failed to go all the way up. I call that “projectile dysfunction.”(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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