The big rumor in the tech world this week is that Apple is in talks to acquire Beats Electronics, makers of the Beats by Dre headphones and recent launcher of a streaming music service. The news came out of left field, and left many analysts scrambling to figure out just what the hell was going on.

Beats is a very well-known brand with considerable marketing talent, and Apple is severely lacking when it comes to having anything resembling a streaming music competitor–but most people are a bit perplexed about this one.

So, why would Apple want to buy Beats?

Because they have a shit-ton of money, of course.

Yeah–billions and billions of dollars…so why not, right? And why stop there? Why not expand and just acquire everything? That’s what Funny or Die says. Why not bring Totinos pizza rolls into the Apple family? After a handful of acquisitions, Apple would still have 145.7 gajillion dollars to throw around.

I say go for it. Any headphone would be better than Apple’s earbuds, and that includes a tin can on a string–which I think Beats can top.

Image via Funny or Die