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Xbox Will Remain In PlayStation Shadow

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The Xbox buzz has sleepily settled around Microsoft’s ankles, laying in limp disillusionment; as executives leer in the direction of King Sony, they can’t help but scorn the fair-weather Johnsons that left them there, skulking, controller in hand.

It’s difficult being a giant. Especially when so many victories take up housing in your pouch, trophies strewn from room to room, that you’re sure you’re invincible (and certainly loud about it), only to be poked in the chest with the wares of a more silent and established rival giant. Sony just smiles and rubs it in.

Nintendo finally shows up, panting and sweaty and shouting, “Revolution!” No one really seems to notice.

All three game console makers showed up for the annual E3 industry tradeshow. Microsoft, riding on the magic carpet of information leaks, an MTV special, and sheer determination to be on the market before Christmas (and more importantly, on the market before Sony), demonstrated the Xbox 360 to sufficient oohs and ahs.

The redesigned Xbox 360 is retro-compatible, installed with WiFi technology for wireless controllers and multi-player linkups. Open it up and you’ll find three 3.2-gigahertz IBM microprocessors that can play DVDs, streaming pictures, music and video from digital cameras, portable music players and computers running Microsoft Windows XP. It also allows real-time chat, removable 20-gigabyte hard drive, a custom graphics chip.

“Sweet,” said the crowd.

“Microsoft’s Xbox 360 will take over as number one,” said Jupiter Research.

While everyone was so busy pawing at the 360 “entertainment hub,” whispers began to fill the room that Sony had arrived, PS3 concealed, and was about to unveil it.

The yawns were deafening.

Until, that is, the thing was plugged in. For all the world to see was the most impressive graphics display known to man, a real next generation console that made 360 look like a “respectable upgrade.”

Microsoft looked around to see scraps of paper lilting slowly to the ground where people once had stood.

The PS3 had high capacity Blu-Ray Disc ROM technology, a 54-gigabyte hard drive, seven Bluetooth wireless controllers (seven?), 256MB GDDR3 VRAM at 700 MHz, built in WiFi (802.11b/g), and RSX, a state-of-the-art next-gen GPU by Nvidia with a clock speed of 550 MHz, an ability to link to 2 separate screens as well as to PlayStationPortables, Memory Stick, SD, and CompactFlash media slots, a bay for an optional hard drive, and broadband Ethernet connections for real time networking, Internet access, and chat.

Stop it. It hurts.

I can’t stop once I’ve started. It stings.

PS3′s coup de gras was the lighting and shadow effects, which made everything look as real as the sharp pains in Nintendo’s side as he came clamoring in twirling around a similar, lower tech offering, of which he could only boast that you could play original Nintendo ES games on it.

But the old timers like the idea. Just think of it. Duck Hunt for hours on end again.

But again, the graphics. The graphics, man. Skin has a warm light absorbent glow, eyes are glassy. If the ultra high-powered specs of PS3 weren’t enough to suck you inthe graphics, man, the graphics.

A tear could be seen gathering in the corners of Microsoft’s eye.

Xbox Will Remain In PlayStation Shadow
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