Wyoming Doomsday Bill: When Armageddon Visits The Equality State

    February 29, 2012

Lack of food rations. No electricity. Broken government. Money is meaningless. Lawlessness. Sounds like the end of the world, doesn’t it? To Wyoming it sure does, and accordingly the state government has drafted a bill to prepare for the consummate collapse of society so that the Equality State can march onward into a future uncertain.

House Bill 85, which is being risibly touted as a “Doomsday Bill,” was briefly on the menu for the Wyoming House of Representatives this past Tuesday, which would have made provisions against all of the aforementioned symptoms of the end of the world. In essence, with armageddon bearing down on us and the United States government at a loss to help its citizens, House Bill 85 would have called for the assembly of a task force capable of governing the fair state of Wyoming through the dark lands of armageddon.

As far as the composition of the task force goes, it would have contained the types of dignitaries you might expect to protect the the citizens of Wyoming should the end of the world arise: four members of state government, director of homeland security, the attorney general, and a couple of energy and agriculture specialists. This nine-member squad would be all that stands between Wyoming and the depravity that surely sweeps across the United States once the bottom falls out of society.

House Bill 85 was eventually voted down, but just narrowly. Republican Rep. David Miller, the bill’s sponsor, said that while he didn’t expect America to slip off into armageddon anytime soon, the mounting national debt and active protests seen throughout the country inspired in him concern that Wyoming needs protection. And not just any protection, either: they want an aircraft carrier.

And in case that joke buzzes over you, consider: aircraft carriers need an ocean. Now, go look at where Wyoming is on a map.

What’s more incredible than the end of the world? Miller didn’t even really seem to take his own bill seriously. After it was rejected, he shared his wonderment that the bill even made it as far as it did. “I think the political class here in Cheyenne has a little myopic view of the world in relation of what government can do to people,” Miller said.

The Twitter class, however, has a bemused view of the world of Wyoming:

Wyoming is landlocked. Where was it going to go? MT @ByronTau: Wyoming was weighing building their own aircraft carrier http://t.co/irLER7tv(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

RT @pkedrosky: Oh, for crying out loud: Wyoming House advances doomsday bill http://t.co/wMyIS4qP <– Idiocracy has arrived(image) 3 days ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The United State of Wyoming. An Aircraft Carrier and a Draft. Holy New Country. Rep backed of course. http://t.co/OeKBxnnK(image) 13 minutes ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

in another step to the stone age:
Wyoming narrowly defeats measure to prepare for apocalypse http://t.co/AP0bRFRt from @iNewsApp(image) 50 minutes ago via iNews ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Evidently wyoming has nothing better to do http://t.co/wCBkFZwx(image) 24 minutes ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Wow 27 lawmakers in Wyoming think the state should have it’s own Aircraft Carrier if armageddon hits. http://t.co/IJ2tYzxh(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Wyoming Wants Their Own Currency, a Draft, and a Freaking Aircraft Carrier In case of Doomsday | http://t.co/nyVKNpP6(image) 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Wyoming: Where Armageddon Comes Home to Roost.