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WWDC, Paul Newman, and Speed Stick

Today's Funniest Tweets

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WWDC, Paul Newman, and Speed Stick
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Romney after watching Obama on Jimmy Fallon: “Darn it, I’ve got to get on Johnny Carson.”(image) 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

BREAKING: Newt Gingrich is suspending his campaign so he can spend more time being the nougaty filling in a Milky Way bar(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Karma is a boomerang, but dogma is a grenade.(image) 8 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn’t do enough Tim Burton films.(image) 4 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Next year, Apple should just hide the WWDC tickets in Wonka bars.(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Fruit for breakfast always seems like a punishment.(image) 7 hours ago via Twitterrific ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

2013: WWDC admission determined by Cupertino Hunger Games. /ht @rob_rix(image) 5 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Newt Gingrich will end his White House bid and apply for a job with the Secret Service.(image) 5 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

John Edwards may have illegally used campaign $ to hide his mistress & love child. In France he could run on that & win.(image) 1 day ago via Twitter for iPad ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Haven’t heard someone say “Google Drive” in at least 7 minutes; a clear sign that it’s going nowhere.(image) 2 hours ago via Mobile Web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Paul Newman is the Tupac of posthumous dressing releases(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Is it okay to make subtle linguistic stereotype jokes if you’re a lumberjack? I’m axing for a friend.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Speed Stick is one of a few deodorants that sounds like the name of a washed up rock band from the 70s.(image) 13 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

WWDC, Paul Newman, and Speed Stick
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