With the scientific community still buzzing about this week’s announcement concerning the Higgs boson, we think it’s important to educate the internet community about its significance and delve into the reason why people are making such a fuss about something that sounds like a villain in a Western.

And by “educate,” I of course mean “let the grownups educate.” That’s why we gave you this wonderful video of a particle physicist (and epic beard owner) explaining the Higgs boson to us like we were five years old. His beautiful analogy revolving around snow allowed me to understand the true importance of the Higgs boson. I now know exactly how everything works.

Just kidding, it’s still confusing as hell. The Higgs boson is the theorized particle that gives everything in the universe mass. There. That’s enough to keep myself from being embarrassed as parties, and that’s really all we can ask for, right?

You can find plenty of videos of people explaining (or attempting to explain) the Higgs boson on YouTube. But it’s rarer to see someone out on the street, Jaywalking-style, asking people if they know anything about the famous particle.

And according to this “Hipster Pop Quiz” from the folks at Motherboard, they don’t. know. anything.

We should probably cut the good people of Williamsburg some slack. Until earlier this week, when everyone one of Facebook became a particle physicist, it’s doubtful that most of the country would have been able to give an accurate on-the-spot description of science’s biggest discovery as of late.