Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
#800DollarsForAniPhone Playing Temple Run better feel like playing Jumanji.
Wouldn't blame Macaulay Culkin if he was on heroin, he had a traumatic childhood. Frequent abandoned, & pursued relentlessly by criminals.
Christopher Nolan did a great job one upping The Joker with the new DKR villains: Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Jose Canseco has filed 4 Chapter 7 bankruptcy. He wanted 2 file Chapter 11 but because of the steroids he couldn't get it up that high.
McDonald's sponsoring The Olympics is like Chick-Fil-A sponsoring The Tonys.
I would vote for Wesley Snipes over Romney; he's more open about his taxes.
SAD BUT TRUE: They make Diet Coke out of regular Coke just by telling it how much prettier it could be 'til it loses the weight 🙁
To be fair, most marriages are pretty gay.
There are few things more gratifying in life than being attacked by someone who can't spell.
BREAKING: After all competitors were disqualified, no medals were awarded in the Cinnamon Challenge. #olympics
Twitter is the longest audition for nothing.