Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
#800DollarsForAniPhone Playing Temple Run better feel like playing Jumanji.
Wouldn't blame Macaulay Culkin if he was on heroin, he had a traumatic childhood. Frequent abandoned, & pursued relentlessly by criminals.
Christopher Nolan did a great job one upping The Joker with the new DKR villains: Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Jose Canseco has filed 4 Chapter 7 bankruptcy. He wanted 2 file Chapter 11 but because of the steroids he couldn't get it up that high.
McDonald's sponsoring The Olympics is like Chick-Fil-A sponsoring The Tonys.
I would vote for Wesley Snipes over Romney; he's more open about his taxes.
SAD BUT TRUE: They make Diet Coke out of regular Coke just by telling it how much prettier it could be 'til it loses the weight
To be fair, most marriages are pretty gay.
There are few things more gratifying in life than being attacked by someone who can't spell.
BREAKING: After all competitors were disqualified, no medals were awarded in the Cinnamon Challenge. #olympics
Twitter is the longest audition for nothing.