Weiner’s Pseudonym Now A Hot-Dog Brand

    August 18, 2013

Everyone’s favorite scandal-plagued New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner may never live his ordeal down. ABC News has taken notice of a Florida marketing man named Randall Richards who has teamed up with an Illinois hot dog manufacturer called Thrushwood Farms Quality Meats to produce a brand called Carlos Danger Weiners, which he incorporated into Carlos Danger LLC.

Obviously, Weiner’s name and his ridiculous sexual escapades on Twitter were too delicious to resist. Richards said the idea originated around the same time as Weiner’s second Twitter sex scandal emerged, with Weiner continuing to send lewd messages under the handle ‘Carlos Danger’ long after he had resigned his public office. “This is something that’s too good of an opportunity to pass up,” he said of the idea. “It’s a great American dream to make money off a stupid political gaffe.”

The website’s description of the new hot dogs is fraught with wordplay and freudian analogy: “A Carlos Danger Weiner rises to any occasion,” the site claims, acknowledging that “there are many ways to enjoy your Carlos Danger Weiner. You can jerk it with a Jerk spice, plump it, pull it or just figure it out on your own. Always use a leather weiner holder, which ensures you will get the very most out of your weiner experience.”

The dogs are about twice the size of a regular hot dog, and are billed as “the best made and best tasting award winning hot dogs you will ever taste.” They aren’t totally outside the range of affordability, either, at a dollar a dog for a pack of four, or an $80 Super Tailgater Pack, which includes a cooler, reusable ice packs, 12 Carlos Danger self adhesive mustaches, 12 Carlos Danger coozies, and “a whole lot of hilarious fun!”

To view a timeline of Anthony Weiner’s internet deception, ABC News has a nice one.

If you absolutely can’t stand the idea of going through your day without a salacious snack, you can pick yourself up a variety of packages of Carlos Danger Weiners at the company website. For those who might be wondering, swallowing one of Carlos Danger’s weiners is not kosher.